Lame Joke III

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MP4 - Eedz

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A guy walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.

How goes to the bartender, "I'll have one beer ... and one for the road"

ha ha ha NICE MP4-Cool faaaaaaaak yeaaaaa
 

K E

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K E likes this. *thumbs up*

A bear walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a...................beer"

The bartender says "why the big pause"?
 

MP4 - Eedz

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K E likes this. *thumbs up*

A bear walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a...................beer"

The bartender says "why the big pause"?
I told you that one !!!!!
 

K E

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Zee lakha! I got it from your favourite show, South Park.
 

Rodzilla

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lol your lame jokes are funny and your funny jokes are lame
 

MP4 - Eedz

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I told it to you, then you're like I've heard this one before
 

K E

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So I heard it before.

Who killed Soulja Boy?
 

MP4 - Eedz

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Dear John,


I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my
husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled and broke down about
a


mile down the road. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When
I


got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the
neighbor's daughter!


I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We
have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down
and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six
months. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need
advice urgently.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila
 

MP4 - Eedz

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Dear Sheila,


A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by
a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is
no


debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum lines and
hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If
none


of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump
itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.


I hope this helps,

John
 

K E

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Oh ok, it was a 2 part joke.
 

MP4 - Eedz

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A long haired Aboriginal walked into the local Centrelink office to pick up his dole cheque.
He marched straight up to the counter and said,
'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a job.'

The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' Your timing is excellent, Sir..'
'We have just received a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around
in his 2009 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to
escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to
say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her
sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.
A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc.
located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the salary
is $200,000 a year. '

The Aboriginal plain wide-eyed, said, ' You're bull****in' me!

The Centrelink worker replied, ' Yeah, well. . you ****en started it.'
 

MP4 - Eedz

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Monastery Life

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.

He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

We missed the R !

We missed the R !

We missed the R !

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies,

'The word was... CELEBRATE !!!
 

Rodzilla

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lol the monestary one only works if you are saying it
 

Wahesh

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This video is epic LOLZ.

[video=dailymotion;xee3qb]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xee3qb_time-warp-starring-tony-abbott_shortfilms[/video]
 

MOVE.80

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Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender: " why the long face?"

An elephant walks up to a camel and laughs, saying " Why the fck do you have tits on your back?"
Camel replies "Thats very funny coming from a guy with a d1ck on his face"
 

Ghost of Dime

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I was at an aboriginal settlement today going through a few magazines, I was having a great day until the rifle jammed.
 
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