My heartfelt condolences to you, and anyone that knew your beautiful wife.
Loss is a complicated, and complex thing to understand and get our heads around, and compounded with grief can result in so many thoughts and emotions running through our heads.
All those emotions you feel, you've got every right to feel.
If you want to scream, then scream.
If you want to cry, then cry.
If you want to smile, then smile.
If you want to close off to the outside world and sleep for days, then do so.
Nobody can tell you how to handle the grief of losing a loved one, and we all handle grief in our own ways.
With that said though, rather than weeping for the sad times, instead think back and smile at all the good times you shared together. All the silly things you laughed at, all the good times you shared, all the thing that made you happy about her, and almost as importantly look to your children and grandchildren to see the qualities she instilled in them.
Whilst she may be gone in person, parts of her personality will forever live on in others in your family, excuding the qualities you loved and adored her for.
Cherish the moments you had together, and use every ounce of inner strength to remember her for the memories you created together, and how she lives on through all those she touched around her, with her kindness and personality.
Take care, look after yourself, and if you need to vent or speak to someone, there is absolutely no shame in speaking with your GP about a referral to a grief counsellor, or mental health professional.
