I need help

[N4TE]

Take the opportunity to start going to the gym more. Make plans with friends and family you don’t see enough. Fuck... Take your Grandma out to dinner just you and her. Do nice different things you will surprise everyone including yourself. Do a course you are interested in. If it’s Architecture it’s Architecture if it’s painting it painting.. I bet you will find in time that the world is not all over... and hey who knows maybe that girl from the painting course or the architecture course or the gym that you talk to is pretty cute and really smart and funny.. All the advice on a forum is pretty empty because you have to get through it yourself but I reckon you will be okay brother. Post your journey and thoughts here anytime if it helps no matter if it’s good bad or ugly and I’m sure you will have the support of this place..

 

[The DoggFather]

Also spend the money you'd waste on her on you.

Find a hobby, do up a car, buy some new tech or something you get pleasure from.

Hookers, blackjack and coke would do nicely lol

 

[JayBee]

Let me start by saying mate - you opened yourself up to someone, showed your vulnerability, and allowed attachment to someone who you found yourself in. So when something like this does not work out, your mind sees it as a threat, and clogs up your thoughts with it.

Don't be frightened or confused by the thoughts, memories or dreams that may occur either. Very normal part of life. Little things will remind you of moments you shared with her or about her. A smell, something you ate, an activity you shared together. Disassociating can be difficult, but you can train your mind to think differently. Just do not let it fester and turn into something (like hate) because that can make it worse.

If you have any doubt about why its over, or about yourself or anything in that way shape or form - seek to find your own closure. I'm not saying go after this girl with an axe- you just have to find a way to close that chapter of your life and move on. Very important step. Understand the WHY so you can move past the NOW. The fact you're reaching out for help says it has deeply affected you for reasons beyond what you can comprehend into words, which can lead to self- doubt. If you know in your heart that you did your best, gave your all - then you can get past it on your own merits.

Some points I would share with you:

1) Avoid punishing yourself. Stop focusing on what YOU could have done better.
2) Reflect on how you are a different person from when you first started dating. Very critical - because sometimes, relationships sharpen us up for the next chapter of our lives, which turn out to be the greatest.
3) Time is your best friend, but also your worst enemy. Things will get better as time passes, but at the moment, it will feel like every day is an eternity. Hang tough

You're young AF. Don't look at your age and think to yourself you haven't got a chance to find happiness again. Take it from a bloke who was dating someone for 4.5 years, got engaged, only for it to go to shit not long after getting engaged. I have seen other people on here mention how their relationships fell apart for 1 reasons or another - and mate, it happens. It's a shit feeling, but light is always at the end of the tunnel. I was fortunate enough to meet someone less than 2 months after (sounds quick, but I knew that I gave my all, and deserved better for what I gave) - married 24 months later, and had a kid just 3 months ago. If a fugly mofo like me can do that, than everyone has a chance at happiness.

 

[The DoggFather]

Let me start by saying mate - you opened yourself up to someone, showed your vulnerability, and allowed attachment to someone who you found yourself in. So when something like this does not work out, your mind sees it as a threat, and clogs up your thoughts with it.

Don't be frightened or confused by the thoughts, memories or dreams that may occur either. Very normal part of life. Little things will remind you of moments you shared with her or about her. A smell, something you ate, an activity you shared together. Disassociating can be difficult, but you can train your mind to think differently. Just do not let it fester and turn into something (like hate) because that can make it worse.

If you have any doubt about why its over, or about yourself or anything in that way shape or form - seek to find your own closure. I'm not saying go after this girl with an axe- you just have to find a way to close that chapter of your life and move on. Very important step. Understand the WHY so you can move past the NOW. The fact you're reaching out for help says it has deeply affected you for reasons beyond what you can comprehend into words, which can lead to self- doubt. If you know in your heart that you did your best, gave your all - then you can get past it on your own merits.

Some points I would share with you:

1) Avoid punishing yourself. Stop focusing on what YOU could have done better.
2) Reflect on how you are a different person from when you first started dating. Very critical - because sometimes, relationships sharpen us up for the next chapter of our lives, which turn out to be the greatest.
3) Time is your best friend, but also your worst enemy. Things will get better as time passes, but at the moment, it will feel like every day is an eternity. Hang tough

You're young AF. Don't look at your age and think to yourself you haven't got a chance to find happiness again. Take it from a bloke who was dating someone for 4.5 years, got engaged, only for it to go to shit not long after getting engaged. I have seen other people on here mention how their relationships fell apart for 1 reasons or another - and mate, it happens. It's a shit feeling, but light is always at the end of the tunnel. I was fortunate enough to meet someone less than 2 months after (sounds quick, but I knew that I gave my all, and deserved better for what I gave) - married 24 months later, and had a kid just 3 months ago. If a fugly mofo like me can do that, than everyone has a chance at happiness.

Top notch advice my brother!

Where were you when I needed you 13 years ago lol

 

[Caveman]

I lost my girl, dating for two years truely loved her. a lot of yous can imagine how I’m feeling right now it’s just left me feeling sick and on a downwards slope. I treated her like gold, and I feel empty and lost without her. I want her back but I don’t know if she will ever

Its the separation that hurts, the pain of no longer living life with someone you truely love, and can feel very similar to grieving the loss of a loved one.

Make sure you know its not your fault and its not your partners fault - its no ones fault.

The mutual chemistry was seemingly not sustainable and that's the truth, that takes blame away from both parties along with the thoughts of "I'm not good enough what did I do wrong" the truth is you did nothing wrong you were just being you.

And eventually there will be someone who adores you for just being you.

 

[Sandra's Bollocks]

You are the one that has to live with yourself, so you need to focus that love back towards yourself and be your own friend first. Go and treat yourself as often as you can, whatever that may be. You deserve it.
Cry, listen to music, go for walks, exercise etc... let it out and let the hurt take it's course. You will learn a lot about yourself throughout the whole process.
You will pull through mate, I have no doubt.

 

[SPEARTAKVIDREFS]

Its life. Love, loss. its all about experiences, learning and growing. Its bloody heart wrenching I know. We all know. Nothing I say will help you feel better. One thing I do know from my own experiences, everything shall pass. The highs, the lows, its all good and part of being human.

 

[Alan79]

There's no harder break up than your first major relationship. But don't let the pain scare you off dipping your feet in the water again when you've had some time to heal. I wouldn't recommend rushing out and trying to replace her in a hurry either. Rarely works well to try and substitute someone else just to fill the gap it'll feel like you have in your life. As others have said enjoy some time with your mates. This can be difficult to arrange this if your mates are working and in relationships too. Don't take that as a source of rejection either, it's just life as an adult has different schedules for everyone. Dedicate some time to the hobbies you've dropped to spend time with her, or try some things you've been wanting to for a while. If you can't stop dwelling on the break up maybe even look into getting some counselling to learn coping strategies. We aren't made of stone and sometimes we need help to deal with the things that hurt mentally. Don't be ashamed to seek help if you're struggling.

She may or may not want to come back in time. Use this time to evaluate yourself and find out what really makes you happy. Perspective can be a wonderful thing. And if nothing else this break up will help you to gain some perspective about life just as your time with her did.

 

[The DoggFather]

I lost my girl, dating for two years truely loved her. a lot of yous can imagine how I’m feeling right now it’s just left me feeling sick and on a downwards slope. I treated her like gold, and I feel empty and lost without her. I want her back but I don’t know if she will ever

How you travelling brother? Hopefully you're well.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

I avoided responding to this as everytime I hear this from a friend I usually say, "sorry dude. Let's go get drunk and pick up chicks"

Which is pretty shallow. But anyway. Let's go get drunk and pick up chicks. Or.. You pick up chicks. I'll be on the phone to my wife the whole time talking about how I'm there purely for moral support.

 

[Bulldogsteve]

you need to go fuck yourself stupid, pretty simple.

 

[Aristidiz]

Download tinder and start moving on

 

[Nasheed]

Nasheed here,
I want to give you some advice now that a week has passed, but I want to know one thing first.
Do you;
1. Want her back?
2. Just want to stop feeling so shitty and heartbroken?

 

[DinkumDog]

Hookers

Don’t pressure the young man.
Brandon Smith won’t come cheap .

 

[Wahesh]

23 I’ve never really experience heart break

Sorry to hear mate. You're still a spring chicken, only 23. That was the same age I was when I experienced my first real heart break as well, and the ex was cheating on me too. Mate it's hurting now because it's still fresh, but trust me you will bounce back bigger and stronger. It might take a few weeks or a few months max, but you'll eventually get over her, and wonder why you were so depressed all this time.

It's Christmas time mate, be happy, and trust me if heartbreak is the biggest problem you've got right now, you've got it pretty good.

 

[LordSidious66]

5 years ago I was friends with this chick and this douchebag came along and sent me this text message having a go at me for talking to his girl. He basically felt threatened by me and went so far to talking shit about me to my mates and he threatened to knock me the f out at her 21st.

 

[Natboy]

5 years ago I was friends with this chick and this douchebag came along and sent me this text message having a go at me for talking to his girl. He basically felt threatened by me and went so far to talking shit about me to my mates and he threatened to knock me the f out at her 21st.

I would’ve banged her on principle

 

[Memberberries]

I made the mistake of wanting my girlfriend back a couple of times.
Finally I dumped her but stupidly picked up another woman not long after.
Dated her for about a month but then her mask slipped.
2 things I’ve been told about women, by women is you don’t put up with it when they treat you like shit and the other thing I’ve had women tell me is not to worry about them. Lol

 

[Wahesh]

5 years ago I was friends with this chick and this douchebag came along and sent me this text message having a go at me for talking to his girl. He basically felt threatened by me and went so far to talking shit about me to my mates and he threatened to knock me the f out at her 21st.

What happened in the end?

 

[LordSidious66]

What happened in the end?

Just left and I haven't spoken to them since. Besides a few run ins, I barely see them.