Here's a tale of caution for young players out there ...
It was a Friday night in the main street of Campbelltown, and as the midnight hours approached the horny bogans headed for a dingy little box on top of a staircase called Club 209. If nothing else, you were guaranteed some half decent Hi-NRG and trance for the next three hours. If Nick SKitz, Alex K or such were in town, that's where they'd appear.
So on this fateful night, a young CK is well-lubricated. We're finishing a game of pool and I'm in much need to take a piss, but as I approach the toilets a ruckus is unfolding. As I'm getting closer to the doors, people are leaving and laughing ... clearly "something" is going on in there. What could it be ? Is someone passed out ? Is there "relations" happened in a cubicle ???
Inside said toilet, there's two bowls, and a stainless steel urinal that fits three. One door is open, the other is locked and seems to be the source of the commotion. As I get closer it seems to figure out what was going on, you've gotta take turns looking in the gap of the door, next to the hinges ... you can do this from a few steps distance by peering with "one-eye" in through the gap and make out that some bloke is in there having quite a difficult time. All we can hear is swearing and "Oh no" !
It turns out the poor lad had completely shit his pants ... I dunno how it happened but I suspect he was racing to get there and got his zipper or buttons stuck on and in the middle of removing them to sit down he's missed the target and it's wound up in his clothes as well as the loo and some of the floor.
By the time I got there, about 12 people had taken a look, and after I had my quick peek I still needed to piss, so I stood at the urinal as a conga line of others came in for an inspection after being given the news outside. It was during this period, poor lad caught on to the fact he'd become a circus act and the swearing got louder "Get F*CKED you C*NTS !!!" ... which in turn created more laughter and more taunts ... which in turn fueled is anger .... and even though I was in an 8-beer haze I could see this wasn't gonna end well, so I was gonna hang around to watch the finale.
One particular dude had a close up peek right next to the door, and upon seeing the laughing face nearby the sh*tty-pants lad threw a handful of sh*t at the door ... this sent the entire room full of people scattering in all directions, and within a few seconds Security had arrived to check what was happening.
No less than 2 minutes later, sh*tty-pants guy was being thrown down the fire escape stairs ....
That was pre-internet, pre-social media and almost 20 years ago, and I still remember that guy's full name.
Control your drinking folks. :thumb:
