Divorce

[Cook]

Hey guys. Not the best thread, but am about to go through a divorce, and we have a 2yr old daughter. I'm wondering if anyone has been through this? I'm after advice both of the nice kind and the nasty kind as she will try and take me to the cleaners...I've worked long hours over the years to get home ownership and really don't wanna lose everything..

 

[Bad Billy]

Sorry to hear bud.
My understanding is Australia is basically a "no fault" divorce country.
So basically, family court will adjudicate based on remaining responsibilities.
If she becomes the primary carer of your daughter, she'll get most of your shit.

 

[south of heaven]

Dont know your situation bro, but sounds like your in for a rough trot. All i suggest is do whatever you can to stay close with your child and try to work in a way where you both can keep it on a decent level for your little one.
You also got to look after yourself and make sure your wellbeing is ok also.
The best peaceful resolution is you pretty much leave with nothing, but have easy access to your child and its civil.
The worst you will leave with nothing and she will be a total **** and make it very difficult for you and access to your child.
Id be aiming for option one

 

[rainman]

Dont know your situation bro, but sounds like your in for a rough trot. All i suggest is do whatever you can to stay close with your child and try to work in a way where you both can keep it on a decent level for your little one.
You also got to look after yourself and make sure your wellbeing is ok also.
The best peaceful resolution is you pretty much leave with nothing, but have easy access to your child and its civil.
The worst you will leave with nothing and she will be a total **** and make it very difficult for you and access to your child.
Id be aiming for option one

This plus what it will cost to fight it, fuck all minus fuck all equals a bloke taking his Mrs to court

 

[Nano]

Sell your shit and move that cash offshore if you want to keep that hard rented money

 

[Kurrupt78]

Invest in a solicitor first and foremost. Pay the money for it. Forget the legal aid provided by the court. Rubbish. Try not to go in by yourself. And remember to be civil, because at the end of the day, your 2 year old daughter is involved too! Good luck bro!

 

[Mr Invisible]

Be the good guy. Try to be as accommodating as possible. If you show you are triyng to be fair and reasonable, and shes trying to go you for everything, she will look like the bad person.

 

[coach]

She being civil? Or a cu ....t! She demanded anything or not?

 

[Sword]

Mate no advice, but good luck. If your 2 year old stays with mum you'll have nights free and when you have her once/ twice a week , it'll be true quality time without the tension of your soon to be ex in the same house.

 

[The DoggFather]

Did you buy the house before you married her? If yes then don't quote me on it but I think she can't touch it.

 

[Indiandog]

if i were you i will settle it out of the court in a civilized manner, even if you have to go down on her literally...do it.

just remember you have everything to lose and she has everything to gain so you are not really in a bargaining position Plus your 2 year old daughter is in the middle of it.

 

[Alexander the Great]

The lawyers will take majority of it mate. Settle it outside of the court room if possible.
Legal aid im sure do not represent people in civil claims matters and family law so you will need to hire a lawyer.
Not only will the process take a very long time but in the end they milk you dry.

 

[Alexander the Great]

Did you buy the house before you married her? If yes then don't quote me on it but I think she can't touch it.

Doesn't matter anymore... once the divorce is filled im pretty sure the its fair game for all...
Pretty fucked

 

[blueyedsamurai]

I had to experience all this shit with my parents years back, I can tell you that you are at the mercy of your ex unfortunately because of our courts. As others have stated, try to be as nice as you can even if you have to bite your tongue.
She could lie about anything and she wouldn't even need to show proof.

She can force you to sell your car and whatever else you own so try to negotiate to avoid losing everything, hopefully if you've got expensive collectables she doesn't know about them .

As for the Lawyer, keep in mind that they charge for absolutely everything, make sure you discuss the costs and try to do some things yourself if you have time to avoid a 20k plus bill.

 

[Wolfmother]

Sorry to hear about this.

I'm not divorced but a friend of mine is.

They came to a half half agreement with the property but the kids were a different story.

He wanted consecutive 'week long' custody split between them but she didn't like that so they went to court and then it got ugly.

She scraped up as much dirt as she could to make him look like a bad parent for example her psychologist wrote a letter of support stating that she is vulnerable and potentially a victim of domestic violence because he has, in the past, raised his voice at her when picking up the kids.

She eventually got what she wanted.

Mothers tend to get the rub if the green in custody cases but when it comes to property I think its 50/50

 

[Realist90]

All I can say is, in the west it's always the wife that is sympathised for and always takes the husbands to the cleaners like you're saying. I feel bad for ya bro. It's your fault for being male.

 

[Wolfmother]

All I can say is, in the west it's always the wife that is sympathised for and always takes the husbands to the cleaners like you're saying. I feel bad for ya bro. It's your fault for being male.

Only because children are considered better off with their mother not because they favour women..

 

[Realist90]

Only because children are considered better off with their mother not because they favour women..

Lolllll load of shite. If the courts suddenly were fair about it the females won't get their money they want even more than their kids and then the gender card will come out

 

[Wolfmother]

Lolllll load of shite. If the courts suddenly were fair about it the females won't get their money they want even more than their kids and then the gender card will come out

Your problem is you take the words of a book that was written 2000 years ago as verbatim.

The Bible was written to help people on a worldwide scale learn how to live a healthy and harmonious life with others and not to be used 2000 years later to promote male dominance.

If you're fair Dinkum you'll understand that it was written when life was simple and many instructions no longer apply to today's society.

 

[maroondog72]

Just remember mate no matter how nasty things get(and I fear they might) that two year old is your first and major priority,losing material things is tough but you can start again
YOU ONLY GET ONE SHOT AT BEING A DAD
Best of luck mate