2018/2019 Darwin Award winner?

[Mr Invisible]

Mission Successful? ?

Probably won't be murder because they operate under their own laws. Body won't be recovered because it's probably already been eaten.

 

[Indiandog]

Mission Successful? ?

Probably won't be murder because they operate under their own laws. Body won't be recovered because it's probably already been eaten.

Happens every other day in PNG.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

 

[Memberberries]

Happens every other day in PNG.

I met an Australian who often goes to PNG.
He said once he passes the checkpoint at the airport, he requests a pistol and ammo.

He said the day they stop allowing him to carry a gun while there, is the day he stops working at Papua New guinea.

I had a friend who lived there as a kid while his dad worked there.

I was like fuck that, all the locals must of thought you were some kind of royalty?

He said his dad had a servant which he refused to call a slave, that he paid $2 a day to do all the shit no one wants to do.

 

[Indiandog]

I met an Australian who often goes to PNG.
He said once he passes the checkpoint at the airport, he requests a pistol and ammo.

He said the day they stop allowing him to carry a gun while there, is the day he stops working at Papua New guinea.

I had a friend who lived there as a kid while his dad worked there.

I was like fuck that, all the locals must of thought you were some kind of royalty?

He said his dad had a servant which he refused to call a slave, that he paid $2 a day to do all the shit no one wants to do.

I used to service oktedi mine in my previous job. One of the operators at the mine was going on leave for “jury” duties back to his village where he was the judge jury and executioner... yes he executed the criminal and came back to work the week after.

 

[CrittaMagic69]

I met an Australian who often goes to PNG.
He said once he passes the checkpoint at the airport, he requests a pistol and ammo.

He said the day they stop allowing him to carry a gun while there, is the day he stops working at Papua New guinea.

I had a friend who lived there as a kid while his dad worked there.

I was like fuck that, all the locals must of thought you were some kind of royalty?

He said his dad had a servant which he refused to call a slave, that he paid $2 a day to do all the shit no one wants to do.

SA is even more crazy than PNG. I went there for 2 months when i left school to do some missionary work, the ***** there were absolutely crazy.

Anyway i was out on the canoe with this bloke fishing one morning and his english was really fucking broken, so trying to have a conversation with him was really hard and awkward. then eventually reached into his bag and pulled out some weed and that managed to make things a lot easier and we some what managed to get on.

During our conversation i really started to appreciate how good this weed was, so i then asked him if he had anymore to get me through the last few weeks. He was like "Ja boet, ja, ja" while hugging me and getting all excited.

The next morning i woke up to the sound of trucks, this was unusual as the village was fairly remote. I then went outside to have a look and there i saw 2 jeeps mounted with machine guns, a few utes and a blacked out car covered in dust approaching us like some fucking movie.

I then noticed that none of the villagers were around and started to panic until i heard someone yelling "boet!" towards me. It was old mate that i was fishing with yesterday. He then came over and gestured me to go towards the now parked cars.

I then slowly walked over to the cars and then came to a complete stop as i saw about 12 armed men jump out from the utes and direct their guns towards me. I fucking though this is it and just accepted my fate as they walked towards me.

As they got closer two of the men lowered their guns and broke off from the pack and approached me while yelling "LEY DOWN!" in a thick SA accent. I fucking dropped like a dog.

I'm now laying face down on the ground and these two ***** start feeling me up and right there and then i thought i was about to begin my life as a sex slave. One of the men then begins to lift me up while the other starts feeling around the front side of my body and then eventually gestures with a thumbs up back the towards cars. I then came to the realisation that i had been frisked and not examined as a potential sex slave.

Moments later i see four other men come out from a ute carrying two chairs, a small table and what looked to be two eskys. They then walked of towards some trees and started to set the table while the the two men with me started to usher me towards the same area. I was then directed to stand once arriving there.

I then noticed a few men approach the blacked our car and escort a male in a yellow suit towards me. The man in the yellow suit upon arrival sits down and aggressively glares in my direction for what felt like an eternity. I am then eventually told to sit by one of the escorts.



To be continued.

 

[jmaamary]

SA is even more crazy than PNG. I went there for 2 months when i left school to do some missionary work, the ***** there were absolutely crazy.

Anyway i was out on the canoe with this bloke fishing one morning and his english was really fucking broken, so trying to have a conversation with him was really hard and awkward. then eventually reached into his bag and pulled out some weed and that managed to make things a lot easier and we some what managed to get on.

During our conversation i really started to appreciate how good this weed was, so i then asked him if he had anymore to get me through the last few weeks. He was like "Ja boet, ja, ja" while hugging me and getting all excited.

The next morning i woke up to the sound of trucks, this was unusual as the village was fairly remote. I then went outside to have a look and there i saw 2 jeeps mounted with machine guns, a few utes and a blacked out car covered in dust approaching us like some fucking movie.

I then noticed that none of the villagers were around and started to panic until i heard someone yelling "boet!" towards me. It was old mate that i was fishing with yesterday. He then came over and gestured me to go towards the now parked cars.

I then slowly walked over to the cars and then came to a complete stop as i saw about 12 armed men jump out from the utes and direct their guns towards me. I fucking though this is it and just accepted my fate as they walked towards me.

As they got closer two of the men lowered their guns and broke off from the pack and approached me while yelling "LEY DOWN!" in a thick SA accent. I fucking dropped like a dog.

I'm now laying face down on the ground and these two ***** start feeling me up and right there and then i thought i was about to begin my life as a sex slave. One of the men then begins to lift me up while the other starts feeling around the front side of my body and then eventually gestures with a thumbs up back the towards cars. I then came to the realisation that i had been frisked and not examined as a potential sex slave.

Moments later i see four other men come out from a ute carrying two chairs, a small table and what looked to be two eskys. They then walked of towards some trees and started to set the table while the the two men with me started to usher me towards the same area. I was then directed to stand once arriving there.

I then noticed a few men approach the blacked our car and escort a male in a yellow suit towards me. The man in the yellow suit upon arrival sits down and aggressively glares in my direction for what felt like an eternity. I am then eventually told to sit by one of the escorts.



To be continued.

I can’t believe you have gone 10 paragraphs without abusing someone

 

[CrittaMagic69]

I can’t believe you have gone 10 paragraphs without abusing someone

I'm saving the abuse for the game tonight.

 

[jmaamary]

I'm saving the abuse for the game tonight.

If it wasn’t for the Saints slaying right now I’d be dead inside, I’m a dogs and Man U supporter, it’s hard to get passionate about either

 

[Bad Billy]

“I hollered, ‘My name is John, I love you and Jesus loves you

(In pidgin Indian) “talk to the pointy end of my arrow motherfucker.”

 

[The DoggFather]

Their border patrol shits on Murikas lol

 

[CroydonDog]

We almost had a new contender with this guy, although he didn't die:

Man Slams Car Into Tree After Trying To Drive With His Head Out The Window Like 'Ace Ventura'
Alllllllrighty then.

Ethan Meldrum

21 hrs ago

Image: Warner Bros.



Police in the United States have arrested a man who smashed his car into a tree while trying to drive like Ace Ventura.

Police in Lincoln, Nebraska reported the man was taken into custody after crashing his car while his head was out the window.

The driver said he was doing so because his windshield wipers were not working.

The report says the driver "informed officers that he crashed because of inoperable windshield wipers, which forced him to drive with his head out of the window, 'like Ace Ventura' due to the rain".

He fled the scene of the accident before later being contract by authorities.

He was later booked for driving under the influence after recording a blood alcohol reading of 0.137.

 

[The DoggFather]

We almost had a new contender with this guy, although he didn't die:

Man Slams Car Into Tree After Trying To Drive With His Head Out The Window Like 'Ace Ventura'
Alllllllrighty then.

Ethan Meldrum

21 hrs ago

Image: Warner Bros.



Police in the United States have arrested a man who smashed his car into a tree while trying to drive like Ace Ventura.

Police in Lincoln, Nebraska reported the man was taken into custody after crashing his car while his head was out the window.

The driver said he was doing so because his windshield wipers were not working.

The report says the driver "informed officers that he crashed because of inoperable windshield wipers, which forced him to drive with his head out of the window, 'like Ace Ventura' due to the rain".

He fled the scene of the accident before later being contract by authorities.

He was later booked for driving under the influence after recording a blood alcohol reading of 0.137.

Wow, 20 years too late. He must of found a VHS of it

 

[NickT]

I know a guy who’s father in law was a missionary in PNG.
As a child this guy was in a canoe with his brother and father when the outboard caught fire sinking the boat. Only he and a tribesman made it out of the river. His brother and father were taken by crocodiles.

 

[CroydonDog]

I think 2019 has an early contender.

The irony of someone making herself famous for climbing in a bikini, to then freeze to death.

‘Bikini Climber’ freezes to death after 20m fall from mountain
A mountaineer famous for climbing in bikinis has frozen to death in tragic circumstances after misfortune struck during a solo hike.

Tamar Lapin
New York PostJANUARY 22, 201911:06AM

Gigi Wu posted risque outdoor shots despite often walking in freezing temperatures.Source:Facebook

A Taiwanese woman, known as the “Bikini Climber” for scaling mountains in swimwear, was found frozen to death after a 20m fall, according to reports.

Gigi Wu, 36, was eight days into a 25-day solo hike on Saturday when she called a friend to say she’d tumbled down a ravine in Central Taiwan’s Yushan Mountain and was unable to move because of a leg injury, Taiwan News reported.

The 36-year-old was eight days into her solo hike when she fell and froze to death.Source:Facebook

Gigi Wu is known for hiking in just her bikini.Source:Facebook

Rescuers were only able to airlift her out 28 hours later because of poor weather conditions. But by then, the young woman was dead, officials said.

The overnight temperature in the area at an altitude of over 1670m was around freezing, said Commander Lin Cheng-I of the Nantou County Fire Department.

Wu froze to death on Yushan Mountain in Taiwan after she fell down a ravine.Source:Facebook

The mountaineer, also known as Wu Chi-yun, was a local social media star, known for posing on peaks in barely-there outfits.

Her official cause of death is still unclear.

This article originally appeared on the New York Post and was reproduced with permission

 

[south of heaven]

I think 2019 has an early contender.

The irony of someone making herself famous for climbing in a bikini, to then freeze to death.

‘Bikini Climber’ freezes to death after 20m fall from mountain
A mountaineer famous for climbing in bikinis has frozen to death in tragic circumstances after misfortune struck during a solo hike.

Tamar Lapin
New York PostJANUARY 22, 201911:06AM

Gigi Wu posted risque outdoor shots despite often walking in freezing temperatures.Source:Facebook

A Taiwanese woman, known as the “Bikini Climber” for scaling mountains in swimwear, was found frozen to death after a 20m fall, according to reports.

Gigi Wu, 36, was eight days into a 25-day solo hike on Saturday when she called a friend to say she’d tumbled down a ravine in Central Taiwan’s Yushan Mountain and was unable to move because of a leg injury, Taiwan News reported.

The 36-year-old was eight days into her solo hike when she fell and froze to death.Source:Facebook

Gigi Wu is known for hiking in just her bikini.Source:Facebook

Rescuers were only able to airlift her out 28 hours later because of poor weather conditions. But by then, the young woman was dead, officials said.

The overnight temperature in the area at an altitude of over 1670m was around freezing, said Commander Lin Cheng-I of the Nantou County Fire Department.

Wu froze to death on Yushan Mountain in Taiwan after she fell down a ravine.Source:Facebook

The mountaineer, also known as Wu Chi-yun, was a local social media star, known for posing on peaks in barely-there outfits.

Her official cause of death is still unclear.

This article originally appeared on the New York Post and was reproduced with permission

I read that thismorning had to laugh

 

[Mr Invisible]

If only she was a snow leopard.

 

[south of heaven]

If only she was a snow leopard.

This dude took acid and thought he was a snow leopard

 

[Mr Invisible]

This dude took acid and thought he was a snow leopard

Now they're freeee...... free fallin!!

 

[CroydonDog]

New entrant (this one is chav-tastic):

Mum-of-three dies after travelling to Turkey for Brazilian bum lift
A woman who travelled to Turkey for a Brazilian bum lift has died after developing horror complications during the procedure.

Richard Wheatstone
news.com.auJANUARY 23, 20199:52AM

A trip to Turkey has ended in tragedy for a British mum-of-three, who died from a fat clot. Picture: FacebookSource:Facebook

A mum-of-three who travelled to Turkey for a ‘Brazilian bum lift’ cosmetic procedure died after developing a fat clot, an inquest heard.

According to The Sun, Leah Cambridge, 29, from Leeds in the UK, flew out to a hospital in Izmir for the procedure in August.

But she died following complications during the surgery, a hearing at Wakefield Coroner’s Court was told.

Opening the inquest, Assistant Coroner James Hargan said a provisional post-mortem exam showed Leah died from a fat embolism caused by the procedure.

Fiancé Scott Franks, 31, said he can’t imagine life without Leah. Picture: FacebookSource:Facebook

He said: “Ms Cambridge was a 29-year-old single lady who lived with her partner in this country.

“Arrangements were made for her to have cosmetic surgery at a private hospital in Izmir, Turkey.

“The deceased arrived in Turkey with her mother on 26 August, collected from the airport and taken to that hospital.

“The procedure took place on the morning of 27 August 2018.

“At round about half-past one in the afternoon of that day, the deceased’s mother was informed by hospital staff that there had been complications during the surgery and, sadly, Ms Cambridge had died.”

Scott said he had tried to persuade Leah not to go ahead with the operation. Picture: FacebookSource:Facebook

Clinic ‘popular with reality stars’

The beautician travelled to the Izmir Private Can Hospital, which boasts celebrity clientele, for the £3,000 (AU$5460) operation after growing paranoid about her body after having three children.

But complications set in shortly after surgery began at the Elite Aftercare clinic in Izmir — which claims to have carried out cosmetic ops on celebs including British reality TV stars Amber Dowding and Lauren Goodger.

Leah Cambridge died after suffering three heart attacks during her Brazilian butt lift op in Turkey. Picture: FacebookSource:Facebook

Family say she fell ill after fat entered her blood stream and her oxygen levels dropped.

Doctors stabilised her, but her condition deteriorated again and she died following the heart attacks.

The Brazilian butt lift procedure, which reshapes the buttocks by transferring fat from areas including the stomach and back, has become an increasingly popular technique for achieving an hourglass figure.

Leah pictured with her fiancé Scott Franks. Picture: FacebookSource:Facebook

No family members attended the inquest opening in Wakefield today and the hearing was adjourned to allow further inquiries to take place.

Leah’s partner, Scott Franks, said at the time of her death he had been left a “broken man” and warned others considering going under the knife to think about the risks.

He told The Sun: “I can’t imagine being in the house without Leah. I wish we could turn back time.”

Following the tragedy, Eliter Aftercare said it is “responsibly run”. It added: “As such, it takes its responsibilities extremely seriously.”