I'm getting a new neighbour.... What to expect?

Blue_boost

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My elderly next door neighbour is cleaning up ready to sell. Maybe going to live up the coast somewhere.

So now it's time for a new neighbour!!

What's your ideal neighbour? Traits?

Maybe a young yummy mummy who sunbakes topless in the back yard? (I live in a 2 storey house that overlooks their yard)

Maybe a good tiler or cabinet maker that can do me a free kitchen / bathroom reno

Obviously someone that doesn't cook shit that stinks.

I dont like noisy neighbours but I like them to tolerate my noise

Any applicants on here? Maybe @Alan79? can listen to my stories all weekend.

So I need to screen the purchasers and act like a renter if I dont like em. Spook them from buying
 

Wahesh

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Steam a clam, Seymour.
 

Sleeky

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Why dont you buy it, Place a stripper in there rent free and tell her your little fantasies so she could play them out for you while you’re on the first floor of your home with binoculars in one hand and conditioner in the other
 

Mr 95%

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My elderly next door neighbour is cleaning up ready to sell. Maybe going to live up the coast somewhere.

So now it's time for a new neighbour!!

What's your ideal neighbour? Traits?

Maybe a young yummy mummy who sunbakes topless in the back yard? (I live in a 2 storey house that overlooks their yard)

Maybe a good tiler or cabinet maker that can do me a free kitchen / bathroom reno

Obviously someone that doesn't cook shit that stinks.

I dont like noisy neighbours but I like them to tolerate my noise

Any applicants on here? Maybe @Alan79? can listen to my stories all weekend.

So I need to screen the purchasers and act like a renter if I dont like em. Spook them from buying
Lol..please ever stop posting the posts you do.. All the crap that’s going on in the world your posts are a great way to get distracted from it..I can’t wait to hear @south of heaven response!
 

south of heaven

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Lol..please ever stop posting the posts you do.. All the crap that’s going on in the world your posts are a great way to get distracted from it..I can’t wait to hear @south of heaven response!
Boost is king troll and never ever breaks character and gets in your head,he has got me on this one I have nothing
 

Legend23

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Make sure they mow the lawn regularly and don't let their dog shit on your property

Hooefully a landlord doesnt buy it then rent it out :hushed: the horror that will be living next door to renters
 

Blue_boost

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Make sure they mow the lawn regularly and don't let their dog shit on your property

Hooefully a landlord doesnt buy it then rent it out :hushed: the horror that will be living next door to renters
Gee that would be horrible .. but I think the house is too expensive to buy and rent.

There is a lady two doors up that recently bought the house .. she is super fit and jogs all the time, only wears an itty bitty crop top. The other week she ran in the rain, as she came back all drenched like a wet t-shirt Comp. I would accept if she moved down one house, she's a toppo for sure.

But this time around I have to be careful with my neighbour selection, the other side , I dont like him.. he does a shit job maintaining his lawn, his dog has pooped on my lawn and he trains at night preparing to fight me one day . I'll clean him up.

Anyone on the kennel want to apply for my permission to buy up next door to me? What are your strengths and weaknesses?
 

south of heaven

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Gee that would be horrible .. but I think the house is too expensive to buy and rent.

There is a lady two doors up that recently bought the house .. she is super fit and jogs all the time, only wears an itty bitty crop top. The other week she ran in the rain, as she came back all drenched like a wet t-shirt Comp. I would accept if she moved down one house, she's a toppo for sure.

But this time around I have to be careful with my neighbour selection, the other side , I dont like him.. he does a shit job maintaining his lawn, his dog has pooped on my lawn and he trains at night preparing to fight me one day . I'll clean him up.

Anyone on the kennel want to apply for my permission to buy up next door to me? What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Did you try the boost pick up line ? Hey love boost can run faster horny than you can can scared?
 

Wahesh

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Gee that would be horrible .. but I think the house is too expensive to buy and rent.

There is a lady two doors up that recently bought the house .. she is super fit and jogs all the time, only wears an itty bitty crop top. The other week she ran in the rain, as she came back all drenched like a wet t-shirt Comp. I would accept if she moved down one house, she's a toppo for sure.

But this time around I have to be careful with my neighbour selection, the other side , I dont like him.. he does a shit job maintaining his lawn, his dog has pooped on my lawn and he trains at night preparing to fight me one day . I'll clean him up.

Anyone on the kennel want to apply for my permission to buy up next door to me? What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Nah man, you're too far out west for my liking.
 

KambahOne

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You need to find out who the real estate person is that is going to sell the house and present them with a stringent criteria for people to meet and only they can bid for the property.

If you get any push back, inform them immediately you an major Influencer with a powerful and dedicated following who you can mobilise to come and interrupt any auction or they will eagerly bombard their estate office with fake offers.

I will dress as a bikie bitch and pose as South of Heaven's "property" at any auction.

We are all there for you dear leader.
 

Blue_boost

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So for sale sign went up . It's game.on.

Whilst open house is on I'll stand out front in my y-fronts doing star jumps ... That's if I don't like the people inspecting. I need a few hotties Ive done my time with the old geezer next door
 

Blue_boost

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What if my bastard neighbour buys the house for sale. Then I have the same neighbour both sides and he will out flank me.

I'm between a rock and a hard place as if I buy it, by definition I'll have a renter next door. Noone wants that.

Open house is tomorrow, if I see people I don't like I'm gonna do star jumps out front of mine in my y-fronts..

Let's all pray I don't get fat people buying next door, I don't want blobs next door either
 

Wahesh

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What if my bastard neighbour buys the house for sale. Then I have the same neighbour both sides and he will out flank me.

I'm between a rock and a hard place as if I buy it, by definition I'll have a renter next door. Noone wants that.

Open house is tomorrow, if I see people I don't like I'm gonna do star jumps out front of mine in my y-fronts..

Let's all pray I don't get fat people buying next door, I don't want blobs next door either
Let off a bunger during the open house. Then let off a few more bungers before auction starts. Then, just for good measure, let off a bunger just as the auction gets underway - just to scare off bidders.
 
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