The French President declared that France is at war with the virus.
White flags across the country have since sold out.
Pan European Virus Update:
The English have raised their threat level from ‘Miffed’ to ‘Peeved.’ Soon, that may be raised yet again to ‘Irritated’ or even ‘A Bit Cross’.
The English have not been ‘A Bit Cross’ since the 1940 blitz when tea supplies nearly ran out.
The virus response has since been re-categorized from ‘Tiresome’ to ‘A Bloody Nuisance’. The last time the British issued a ‘Bloody Nuisance’ warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from ‘Pissed Off’ to ‘Let's Get the Bastards’. There are no other levels. This is the reason they have not been used on the front line of the British military for the last 300 years.
The French government announced it has raised its alert level from ‘Run’ to ‘Hide’. The only two higher levels in France are ‘Collaborate’ and ‘Surrender’. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from ‘Shout Loudly and Excitedly’ to ‘Elaborate Military Posturing’. Two more levels remain: ‘Ineffective Combat Operations’ and ‘Change Sides’.
The Germans have increased their alert state from ‘Disdainful Arrogance’ to ‘Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs’. They also have two higher levels: ‘Invade a Neighbour’ and ‘Lose’.
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual - the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy can get a good look at the old Spanish Navy.
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