Point being I have the toilet paper to use as I please. Shortly you will be in the shops standing toe to toe with someone swinging for the fences, winner take all, prize is a 6 pack or sorbent.
I plan to completely steer clear of shops.. why because I plan, anticipate, act and now I'll enjoy the spoils.
Plan A: I've got toilet paper coming out of my arse (pardon the pun) and eventually when I do run out, I think this madness will be over and back to normal.
Plan B: Now let's say for instance the madness doesn't end (which I can't see happening) then plan B will be someone I know can go to the supermarkets during the senior citizens hour and get them completely avoiding the madness.
Plan C: Using tissues to wipe my arse. Of course I won't throw them down the toilet, I'll do what people do with nappies... put them in a plastic bag and then put that in the garbage outside (although renters might shit directly into the bin).
Plan D: Use fish and chips papers (aka the Phil Slothfields column in the Daily TeleCRAP... again, pun not intended), then bag.
Plan E: Use papers towels, then bag.
Plan F: Use wet wipes, then bag.