Coronavirus.

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south of heaven

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Plus, you can always use alternatives to toilet paper - bidets, shower, the bum gun, newspaper (ok, nobody actually reads those anymore).
I'm going to Bunnings you can buy those hole washing toilet seats
 

GoTheDoggies

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This shit is only going to get worse. So it's time to buckle up and ride it out.

 

Psycho Doggie

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Plus, you can always use alternatives to toilet paper - bidets, shower, the bum gun, newspaper (ok, nobody actually reads those anymore).
Go ancient Romans and use a sponge on the end of a stick
 

south of heaven

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98ca186c5da8abd233bfea1e28d0efbb.jpeg.jpg

Pope cleared of cornavirus, turns out alterboy jizz went down the wrong pipe and made him cough
 

south of heaven

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@south of heaven .. what happened with your travel agent/Japan trip enquiry?
I booked 3 extra nights lol if gov puts travel restrictions on I'll go from there I go by theory I leave in 36 days It would of peaked and be in decline as they enter spring, by then it will be peaking in Australia and I'll be drinking japanese whiskey watching Bizzare robot cabaret shows or dead from the coronavirus. Flip of the coin really
 

Lov_Dog

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I booked 3 extra nights lol if gov puts travel restrictions on I'll go from there I go by theory I leave in 36 days It would of peaked and be in decline as they enter spring, by then it will be peaking in Australia and I'll be drinking japanese whiskey watching Bizzare robot cabaret shows or dead from the coronavirus. Flip of the coin really
Envious! An extended stay.
We did Nikka distillery visit in Jan, it was freezing with snow everywhere, I was in heaven!
Hope the coin flips in your favor!
 

Squash the Berries!

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I'll start a conspiracy for fun.

Virus released on purpose by countries to kill the non productive costly to maintain over 80's and unwell, thus a way of cost cutting and a redistribution of wealth resulting in a Government cost free stimulus package.
 

south of heaven

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I'll start a conspiracy for fun.

Virus released on purpose by countries to kill the non productive costly to maintain over 80's and unwell, thus a way of cost cutting and a redistribution of wealth resulting in a Government cost free stimulus package.
I'm for anything that will rid old people from supermarkets clogging up the isles
 

Mr 95%

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I'll start a conspiracy for fun.

Virus released on purpose by countries to kill the non productive costly to maintain over 80's and unwell, thus a way of cost cutting and a redistribution of wealth resulting in a Government cost free stimulus package.
Thinking of Australia.. Government wanna raid the NDIS..so knock us disabled people off with the virus..less funds needed for the scheme..diverted to their budget..which they’ve done already by the way .. The conspiracy theory deepens..:fearscream:
 

south of heaven

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And bloody wheelchairs..
Nah they are fine ,but obese fucks on mobility scooters who claim they are disabled from their own doing think everyone should cater to them why they load up on shit.
 

CroydonDog

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Specifically, the Daily TeleCRAP.
Well, actually:

Daily Telegraph sales skyrocket as shoppers stock up on cheap toilet paper
MARCH 3, 2020



WRITTEN BY
DAVID M GREEN
THE CHASER QUARTERLY
1st of your 1,000,000 free articles this month



The Daily Telegraph has been saved from the brink of financial ruin today as frantic shoppers bought up the paper in droves in an attempt to stock up on toilet paper in the wake of a coronavirus outbreak.

“These 12 issues of the Telegraph should cover us for about eight weeks of bathroom needs,” said local shopper Ricky Rick McRickson, “oh wait, damn look at this, it’s all already been used!? Wait no, that’s just the journalism, nevermind.”

However, the paper has been met with accusations of inflating the threat of coronavirus in order to increase sales, with overly sensational headlines sending the public into a panic. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said lead Telegraph editor Mindy McName, “I think our headline ‘You’re all going to die, flee the country now you fools’ appropriately captured the danger of a situation where 20 people across an entire country have felt a bit sick. Would you rather have us run headlines where we just state the facts and try to keep everyone calm? What good would that do?”

Asked whether they would be applying the same level of coverage to the equally pressing issue of climate change, the Telegraph said they had never heard of such a thing, and instead they would be devoting all their reporting power towards covering the much more serious threat of unisex toilets.
 
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