The "R U OK ?" Thread

[Alan79]

This will probably be my last post here for a while?
Im not well liked by some people here so I'll save you all the hassle and not contribute anymore.

I hate myself, I feel like life doesn't make much sense a lot of the time.

Maybe 2020 will be my last year?
Who knows?

It sometimes feels like life is just us running on a hamster wheel. You think you can see what you want in the distance, but it's a never ending battle getting closer to it.

A few days ago it was really hitting me that after 20 years of routinely working my ass off to make my employers wealthy, that I'm not really any closer to having served much purpose in life as I see things. I'm not really much better off financially, still have no idea on whether I'll ever find someone to settle down with and the work I've done over the years hasn't enriched my life or anyone elses as far as I can see.

I moved house six months back and purged 2/3 of my posessions to declutter a lot of things I was holding onto for the sake of meaningless memories. It really made me sit down and think about the things that are important to me. So I drew on all of that when the wave of pre Christmas gloom hit me. I have family that I'd face gunfire for and family that would face it for me despite knowing I'd happily strangle them sometimes. I don't own much, but I have some great memories of traveling and hopefully many more to build. I only have a few good friends now that I don't see enough. But it's good to know that in my tiny social circle that dickheads don't tend to be able to infiltrate.

I've seen a lot of your posts over the last couple of years. I've got plenty of respect for you and I hope you keep posting. I'm not one to declare friendship with people online (feels fake) but you shouldn't feel like you are universally hated here, you aren't. All too often we hear more from people that dislike us than those who appreciate us. Go on a spree of blocking the people on here that make you feel hated.

Outside of that, maybe have a look at traveling somewhere to get some perspective in life. One of my few mates was feeling like it was all pointless midway through the year. I talked him into checking out Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia. It really is like a different world there. Western society creates a very materialistic sense of achievement that is ultimately unsatisfactory if you see it like a competition (which many people wind up doing). My trip over there really taught me to appreciate the little pleasures, find the time to prioritise the things that are special (family and good friends). And to realise that we are both blessed and cursed with living situations where we can coast and survive or work very hard and still not be hugely further ahead than we are by coasting.

Have had some chats on messenger with my mate and his outlook seems to have changed with some perspective. Maybe it could help you if you planned a trip like this.

 

[Raysie]

I can truly say the happiest I've ever been in my life is when I sold everything I owned, quit my shit job and lived out of my luggage travelling the world for a few years. I agree Western society creates a very materialistic sense of achievement. All the shit does is make you feel heavier and further buried in the hole you're already in.

Since coming back to this side of the world, all I've done I feel is rebuild what I worked so hard to let go.

 

[Baseball Furies]

It sometimes feels like life is just us running on a hamster wheel. You think you can see what you want in the distance, but it's a never ending battle getting closer to it.

A few days ago it was really hitting me that after 20 years of routinely working my ass off to make my employers wealthy, that I'm not really any closer to having served much purpose in life as I see things. I'm not really much better off financially, still have no idea on whether I'll ever find someone to settle down with and the work I've done over the years hasn't enriched my life or anyone elses as far as I can see.

I moved house six months back and purged 2/3 of my posessions to declutter a lot of things I was holding onto for the sake of meaningless memories. It really made me sit down and think about the things that are important to me. So I drew on all of that when the wave of pre Christmas gloom hit me. I have family that I'd face gunfire for and family that would face it for me despite knowing I'd happily strangle them sometimes. I don't own much, but I have some great memories of traveling and hopefully many more to build. I only have a few good friends now that I don't see enough. But it's good to know that in my tiny social circle that dickheads don't tend to be able to infiltrate.

I've seen a lot of your posts over the last couple of years. I've got plenty of respect for you and I hope you keep posting. I'm not one to declare friendship with people online (feels fake) but you shouldn't feel like you are universally hated here, you aren't. All too often we hear more from people that dislike us than those who appreciate us. Go on a spree of blocking the people on here that make you feel hated.

Outside of that, maybe have a look at traveling somewhere to get some perspective in life. One of my few mates was feeling like it was all pointless midway through the year. I talked him into checking out Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia. It really is like a different world there. Western society creates a very materialistic sense of achievement that is ultimately unsatisfactory if you see it like a competition (which many people wind up doing). My trip over there really taught me to appreciate the little pleasures, find the time to prioritise the things that are special (family and good friends). And to realise that we are both blessed and cursed with living situations where we can coast and survive or work very hard and still not be hugely further ahead than we are by coasting.

Have had some chats on messenger with my mate and his outlook seems to have changed with some perspective. Maybe it could help you if you planned a trip like this.

Amazing post brother, a lot of which resonated with me and I’m sure many others on here also.

Certain parts of Asia definitely have a way of making you take stock of what you “think” is actually important in your life...

 

[south of heaven]

Back on ze meds anxiety been fucking me over a bit lately staring at the ceiling to 4am most mornings a few days in I'm a fucking zombie no energy ,no motivation, feel numb still no fucking sleep .
Ah well it does get better just got to ride the **** out.
I gots to get used to being impotent from the meds for the next few weeks I'm stubborn though tried for over an hour last night couldn't even get the bastard to half mast

 

[Memberberries]

This is one of my new favourite songs by Moby.
Album has been out for over a year.
I picked it up early November.
This track and a few others have me hooked.

When he says I'll try but never be free always plagued by what I can never be.

I so relate.
Sometimes it feels like Moby is reading my thoughts?

 

[MatstaDogg]

Back on ze meds anxiety been fucking me over a bit lately staring at the ceiling to 4am most mornings a few days in I'm a fucking zombie no energy ,no motivation, feel numb still no fucking sleep .
Ah well it does get better just got to ride the **** out.
I gots to get used to being impotent from the meds for the next few weeks I'm stubborn though tried for over an hour last night couldn't even get the bastard to half mast

Ride the wave brother, that's what I do as i know it's only a temporary feeling. The killer is the lack of sleep, that's what really fucks with you. No sleep=tired=don't feel great=anxiety goes into overdrive. Hopefully you start feeling better soon bud!!

 

[south of heaven]

Ride the wave brother, that's what I do as i know it's only a temporary feeling. The killer is the lack of sleep, that's what really fucks with you. No sleep=tired=don't feel great=anxiety goes into overdrive. Hopefully you start feeling better soon bud!!

Yeah I'll get there just hate the feeling

 

[Sandra's Bollocks]

Back on ze meds anxiety been fucking me over a bit lately staring at the ceiling to 4am most mornings a few days in I'm a fucking zombie no energy ,no motivation, feel numb still no fucking sleep .
Ah well it does get better just got to ride the **** out.
I gots to get used to being impotent from the meds for the next few weeks I'm stubborn though tried for over an hour last night couldn't even get the bastard to half mast

I was on that fleuxetine stuff everyday at one stage and mate i had no sex drive whatsoever, wasnt even interested in doing the 3 knuckle shuffle ffs. I'm down to popping them every 3rd day now and happy to say the yoghurt factory is producing again.

 

[Kaz]

Sorry to hear you are feeling shit ATM @south of heaven

 

[Sandra's Bollocks]

I can truly say the happiest I've ever been in my life is when I sold everything I owned, quit my shit job and lived out of my luggage travelling the world for a few years. I agree Western society creates a very materialistic sense of achievement. All the shit does is make you feel heavier and further buried in the hole you're already in.

Since coming back to this side of the world, all I've done I feel is rebuild what I worked so hard to let go.

Funny you should mention this. Ive been at the same place for 13 years and lately I've been seriously thinking about doing just that. But man it's so hard to actually do it. Fear of failure, comfort zone, the feeling of abandoning your family and friends (not married and no kids)... all this factors into the thought process. It'd be nice to put my photography to use where I can constantly take photos of amazing places and people along the way. I don't even care if I don't get rich, just enough to do ok. I saw an add for a photographer in the defense force the other day and thought that might be interesting. But then I remembered I'm unfit and a lazy **** lol

Was there one defining moment that helped you make that decision?

 

[Raysie]

Funny you should mention this. Ive been at the same place for 13 years and lately I've been seriously thinking about doing just that. But man it's so hard to actually do it. Fear of failure, comfort zone, the feeling of abandoning your family and friends (not married and no kids)... all this factors into the thought process. It'd be nice to put my photography to use where I can constantly take photos of amazing places and people along the way. I don't even care if I don't get rich, just enough to do ok. I saw an add for a photographer in the defense force the other day and thought that might be interesting. But then I remembered I'm unfit and a lazy **** lol

Was there one defining moment that helped you make that decision?

There sure was! For a quick brief background, in my late teens and early 20s I was going through high level anxiety where for a lot of that period I legit could not leave my house. I did my final 2 years of High School from home and from there grew a major social anxiety due to the fear of being judged and laughed at.

As time went on I slowly got myself out there in the real world. Got my drivers license, did a year at TAFE and then eventually got a job close to home shortly after. I worked in that job for nearly 5 years. In those 5 years I still struggled for the most part doing something in my life. My social circle consisted of my 2 younger brothers and was being buried with my job which was bloody tough.

Stress from work had me going down a spiral relying on food as my comfort. One day I decided enough was enough and started losing some weight through running and eating a lot better. I began feeling better about myself and an opportunity during this time came up for me to travel on a Contiki around Europe with my cousin and I uncharacteristically took it! That Contiki single handedly changed my life! On that trip I learned I was perfect the way I was, met amazing people, saw the world and came back home a completely different person with a completely different mindset. It's as if my brain was unlocked and I was almost cured from the shit I'd been dealing with for so many years.

I decided to move to London literally a few months after returning and the rest is history really. I lived over there for nearly 2 years, made lifelong mates, further travelled the world and funnily enough am getting married to the girl I had a summer fling with on that very Contiki! haha

I did all that leaving behind my close Brothers, Mum and Nunu; who heavily relied on me as I was the only one who could drive and me being the eldest meant I was responsible for them with my Dad out of the picture. I sold everything I had including the car I poured my heart and soul into a week before leaving for London and had the greatest time of my life while over there. I literally had nothing but a suitcase. If you have an opportunity, do it man! You sometimes only get one window, and if you miss it you'll live to always look back and think what could have been. You really have nothing to lose when you deeply think about it.

 

[Mr 95%]

Back on ze meds anxiety been fucking me over a bit lately staring at the ceiling to 4am most mornings a few days in I'm a fucking zombie no energy ,no motivation, feel numb still no fucking sleep .
Ah well it does get better just got to ride the **** out.
I gots to get used to being impotent from the meds for the next few weeks I'm stubborn though tried for over an hour last night couldn't even get the bastard to half mast

Watch out for blisters!

Ps..hang tough Southy..

 

[CrittaMagic69]

There sure was! For a quick brief background, in my late teens and early 20s I was going through high level anxiety where for a lot of that period I legit could not leave my house. I did my final 2 years of High School from home and from there grew a major social anxiety due to the fear of being judged and laughed at.

As time went on I slowly got myself out there in the real world. Got my drivers license, did a year at TAFE and then eventually got a job close to home shortly after. I worked in that job for nearly 5 years. In those 5 years I still struggled for the most part doing something in my life. My social circle consisted of my 2 younger brothers and was being buried with my job which was bloody tough.

Stress from work had me going down a spiral relying on food as my comfort. One day I decided enough was enough and started losing some weight through running and eating a lot better. I began feeling better about myself and an opportunity during this time came up for me to travel on a Contiki around Europe with my cousin and I uncharacteristically took it! That Contiki single handedly changed my life! On that trip I learned I was perfect the way I was, met amazing people, saw the world and came back home a completely different person with a completely different mindset. It's as if my brain was unlocked and I was almost cured from the shit I'd been dealing with for so many years.

I decided to move to London literally a few months after returning and the rest is history really. I lived over there for nearly 2 years, made lifelong mates, further travelled the world and funnily enough am getting married to the girl I had a summer fling with on that very Contiki! haha

I did all that leaving behind my close Brothers, Mum and Nunu; who heavily relied on me as I was the only one who could drive and me being the eldest meant I was responsible for them with my Dad out of the picture. I sold everything I had including the car I poured my heart and soul into a week before leaving for London and had the greatest time of my life while over there. I literally had nothing but a suitcase. If you have an opportunity, do it man! You sometimes only get one window, and if you miss it you'll live to always look back and think what could have been. You really have nothing to lose when you deeply think about it.

I've been keen about traveling for a while and don't mind the idea of just starting new somewhere completely different. The one thing I am worried about is that I think this would be a make or break thing for me and I could end up a whole lot worse for the trip.

 

[Raysie]

I've been keen about traveling for a while and don't mind the idea of just starting new somewhere completely different. The one thing I am worried about is that I think this would be a make or break thing for me and I could end up a whole lot worse for the trip.

Why does it have to be a make or break thing though? Look at it as a nothing to lose thing. Yeah shit costs money, but I literally was living pay to pay for all that period and was the happiest I've ever been. Money and belongings really are just anchors that keep the boat from moving forward.

 

[Alan79]

Back on ze meds anxiety been fucking me over a bit lately staring at the ceiling to 4am most mornings a few days in I'm a fucking zombie no energy ,no motivation, feel numb still no fucking sleep .
Ah well it does get better just got to ride the **** out.
I gots to get used to being impotent from the meds for the next few weeks I'm stubborn though tried for over an hour last night couldn't even get the bastard to half mast

At least the little head is getting some rest Southy. I hope you get on top of the anxiety soon and that the tablets let you get back on the missus too. I'm fortunate enough that I've never suffered serious anxiety issues. But lack of sleep isn't fun. Been there a fewe times. Hope things are looking up for you soon.

 

[Sandra's Bollocks]

There sure was! For a quick brief background, in my late teens and early 20s I was going through high level anxiety where for a lot of that period I legit could not leave my house. I did my final 2 years of High School from home and from there grew a major social anxiety due to the fear of being judged and laughed at.

As time went on I slowly got myself out there in the real world. Got my drivers license, did a year at TAFE and then eventually got a job close to home shortly after. I worked in that job for nearly 5 years. In those 5 years I still struggled for the most part doing something in my life. My social circle consisted of my 2 younger brothers and was being buried with my job which was bloody tough.

Stress from work had me going down a spiral relying on food as my comfort. One day I decided enough was enough and started losing some weight through running and eating a lot better. I began feeling better about myself and an opportunity during this time came up for me to travel on a Contiki around Europe with my cousin and I uncharacteristically took it! That Contiki single handedly changed my life! On that trip I learned I was perfect the way I was, met amazing people, saw the world and came back home a completely different person with a completely different mindset. It's as if my brain was unlocked and I was almost cured from the shit I'd been dealing with for so many years.

I decided to move to London literally a few months after returning and the rest is history really. I lived over there for nearly 2 years, made lifelong mates, further travelled the world and funnily enough am getting married to the girl I had a summer fling with on that very Contiki! haha

I did all that leaving behind my close Brothers, Mum and Nunu; who heavily relied on me as I was the only one who could drive and me being the eldest meant I was responsible for them with my Dad out of the picture. I sold everything I had including the car I poured my heart and soul into a week before leaving for London and had the greatest time of my life while over there. I literally had nothing but a suitcase. If you have an opportunity, do it man! You sometimes only get one window, and if you miss it you'll live to always look back and think what could have been. You really have nothing to lose when you deeply think about it.

Good onya mate. I'm so happy for you.

You're right when you say you have nothing to lose. There's physically nothing stopping me from doing it, but there's so much mental burden and guilt that goes with packing up and leaving your life, that i couldn't do it unless something obvious hit me in the face. I dunno, maybe I'll lose my shit one day and just fukking leave hahaha... And if I did then it wouldn't be for France coz they're a bunch of *****.

 

[Raysie]

Good onya mate. I'm so happy for you.

You're right when you say you have nothing to lose. There's physically nothing stopping me from doing it, but there's so much mental burden and guilt that goes with packing up and leaving your life, that i couldn't do it unless something obvious hit me in the face. I dunno, maybe I'll lose my shit one day and just fukking leave hahaha... And if I did then it wouldn't be for France coz they're a bunch of *****.

LOL trust me the guilt was there for me, and the family let me know it too! But not long after, they all told me how proud they were of how far I'd come and were happy for me.

You can't live your life for others, otherwise you'll wake up one day wondering how the fuck you allowed yourself to take a backseat in your own life!

 

[south of heaven]

I was on that fleuxetine stuff everyday at one stage and mate i had no sex drive whatsoever, wasnt even interested in doing the 3 knuckle shuffle ffs. I'm down to popping them every 3rd day now and happy to say the yoghurt factory is producing again.

Lol if I don't rub out 3 a day I get shitty

 

[Alan79]

LOL trust me the guilt was there for me, and the family let me know it too! But not long after, they all told me how proud they were of how far I'd come and were happy for me.

You can't live your life for others, otherwise you'll wake up one day wondering how the fuck you allowed yourself to take a backseat in your own life!

I'm pretty much there at the moment with part of my family. The sister I live nearest to has depression issues and I've hung around a town I've hated for 18 years because she didn't really have much of an adult support network. But her kids are adults now and I think it's time for me to try some different scenery again. As you say you shouldn't feel the need to take a backseat for others forever.

 

[Raysie]

I'm pretty much there at the moment with part of my family. The sister I live nearest to has depression issues and I've hung around a town I've hated for 18 years because she didn't really have much of an adult support network. But her kids are adults now and I think it's time for me to try some different scenery again. As you say you shouldn't feel the need to take a backseat for others forever.

There has to come a point where you have to say "What about me?" (Excuse the Shannon Noll pun)