The "R U OK ?" Thread

[Mr Invisible]

If by kids you mean sim racing gear yes yes i will

LOL I was going to say that, but thought better hahaha

 

[Captain Kickass]

I'm very very aware of my own mental health, and I've invested countless hours and dollars in identifying / managing my emotions. I have baggage so big it's should be called luggage. There's the post-traumatic stress disorder suitcase to go with the chronic-illness suitcase and various other carry on bags.

But today ... (*inhale, exhale*) ... the mood of everybody in my house is fucking crazy. It's not even 12 noon and my immediate instinct is "Fuck everybody and everything !"

Right now, as I type, I'm trying to re-wire my brain. The last thing I want is for my family to suffer the fallout of my inability to handle random upsets that are out of my control. But in saying that, it's extremely difficult to tolerate the emotional outbursts of those who I care about, and spend zero time/energy in being considerate to others.

I'm Dad. The responsibility is on me to lead the way by example. The wife needs me to be a level head. The kids need me to be a level head. I wish to remain a level head.

It's been hot lately and it's going to remain hot for at least the next week. Wife has a carryover headache from last night, and slept poorly. I haven't slept properly (8hrs) for what seems like weeks. Ms12 has been unwell for a week and is terribly moody, culminating in an outburst an hour ago over one comment I made about the characters in a show she was watching, and now she refuses to speak with me. Earlier, Mr11 got angry over being urged for a 3rd time to hurry up and get out of bed. Minutes later, Ms6 burst into tears because I grabbed the printed piece of paper out of the (bluetooth) printer tray before she could run to finish the job Mum asked her to do while they were in another room.

In a nutshell ... while trying my best to manage my own shit on a daily basis, it seems today I must also be a doormat for others and love them at the same time.

I've got to check my ego and I've got to reach into my toolkit and find the strategies I've been taught, or else I'm likely to respond in a manner that will cause greater damage and lingering resentment. Feeling un-appreciated sucks but I know I've got to swallow it.

So I'm sitting here right now typing this to serve two purposes ... (a) vent, and (b) remind myself to slow down and think before I act.

I've dealt with monumental challenges in my life and have emerged the other side. Things that would crush the skulls of others under the weight of depression. But I'll be damned if I can ever get my every day life to operate with minimal stress for longer than a few days.

Do you ever feel like every conversation, every plan, every task seems more difficult than it needs to be ? Why can't people keep small things small ?

 

[Mr Invisible]

@Captain Kickass ... from memory you've got an older daughter as well?

What's the chance of curtailing your daughter and getting out of the house for a few hours. Just spend some enjoyable time together if you can.

Either that or just head out yourself somewhere (even just go for a drive somewhere nice to clear the head). If you've got a dog maybe take it out to local park or somewhere?

Just because you are a family man with kids and a wife in no way means you can't have time to yourself.

I find nature awesome for clearing the head and a reset.

Otherwise @south of heaven seems pretty well versed in family matters chaos management, and can probably give you a few pointers.

 

[south of heaven]

I'm very very aware of my own mental health, and I've invested countless hours and dollars in identifying / managing my emotions. I have baggage so big it's should be called luggage. There's the post-traumatic stress disorder suitcase to go with the chronic-illness suitcase and various other carry on bags.

But today ... (*inhale, exhale*) ... the mood of everybody in my house is fucking crazy. It's not even 12 noon and my immediate instinct is "Fuck everybody and everything !"

Right now, as I type, I'm trying to re-wire my brain. The last thing I want is for my family to suffer the fallout of my inability to handle random upsets that are out of my control. But in saying that, it's extremely difficult to tolerate the emotional outbursts of those who I care about, and spend zero time/energy in being considerate to others.

I'm Dad. The responsibility is on me to lead the way by example. The wife needs me to be a level head. The kids need me to be a level head. I wish to remain a level head.

It's been hot lately and it's going to remain hot for at least the next week. Wife has a carryover headache from last night, and slept poorly. I haven't slept properly (8hrs) for what seems like weeks. Ms12 has been unwell for a week and is terribly moody, culminating in an outburst an hour ago over one comment I made about the characters in a show she was watching, and now she refuses to speak with me. Earlier, Mr11 got angry over being urged for a 3rd time to hurry up and get out of bed. Minutes later, Ms6 burst into tears because I grabbed the printed piece of paper out of the (bluetooth) printer tray before she could run to finish the job Mum asked her to do while they were in another room.

In a nutshell ... while trying my best to manage my own shit on a daily basis, it seems today I must also be a doormat for others and love them at the same time.

I've got to check my ego and I've got to reach into my toolkit and find the strategies I've been taught, or else I'm likely to respond in a manner that will cause greater damage and lingering resentment. Feeling un-appreciated sucks but I know I've got to swallow it.

So I'm sitting here right now typing this to serve two purposes ... (a) vent, and (b) remind myself to slow down and think before I act.

I've dealt with monumental challenges in my life and have emerged the other side. Things that would crush the skulls of others under the weight of depression. But I'll be damned if I can ever get my every day life to operate with minimal stress for longer than a few days.

Do you ever feel like every conversation, every plan, every task seems more difficult than it needs to be ? Why can't people keep small things small ?

Lol sounds like my daily life routine but chuck a few extra kids in the mix, school holidays, ending hot bothered its all normal c. k. Sometimes you gots to have a go at the lot of them and walk off for half an hour, let mum sort them while you clear your head

 

[Memberberries]

Does anyone have any good paying jobs going where I won't be isolated doing nothing?

The money is good in the job I'm working but after halfway through the day my brain flicks switch and I go back to feeling like a useless prick again.

 

[Mr Invisible]

Does anyone have any good paying jobs going where I won't be isolated doing nothing?

The money is good in the job I'm working but after halfway through the day my brain flicks switch and I go back to feeling like a useless prick again.

What are you doing and what would you describe as "good paying"?

 

[Memberberries]

What are you doing and what would you describe as "good paying"?

I'm not really doing anything.

Just sitting in solidarity and wasting away mostly.

Very loud and gets hot where I am.

Another thing I've just moved from the outer west to pussy bankstown.

I lived out west most of my life and mist of the scum out there have a chip on their shoulder and will throw you under the bus.

Now the bankstown area is quite the opposite.

Since I've been fucked over and hurt so many times, I don't really want any new friends.

I do like to go out, but I'm happy to hang on my own.

I've had people try to lure me in their group or say it's ok to hang out and then they will start having a loan or turn on me for no reason.

For this reason I prefer not to have anyone in my life.

 

[Mr Invisible]

But I mean in your job ... what job is that?

 

[Memberberries]

But I mean in your job ... what job is that?

Security in corporate sector.
Very boring but pays well for doing nothing.

But most of the time I'm just sitting here having to waste time online all day.

I end up seeing or reading something depressing and it just ruins me.

I don't really like watching t.v.
Everyone I work with treat me lime theres something wrong with me for not liking t.v .

I get bored easily.
Last m9vie I watched was that shit Disney star wars crap. I should of asked for my money back when they insulted us l9ng time fans?

Most of the people I ever liked in entertainment or comedy are now all dead.

I didn't plan for it to be this way.

 

[Mr Invisible]

I guess you need to figure out a way to engage your brain more during the day to pass time. What do other people do in your job?

 

[Memberberries]

I guess you need to figure out a way to engage your brain more during the day to pass time. What do other people do in your job?

They watch movies, they're into sports.

I can't sit through a movie anymore and my passion for sports has been dead for a long time.

Nothing really interests me.

You know how you get a dog frantically chasing it's tail?

That's pretty much my life in a nutshell.

 

[Ecca]

Hey kids,

I know there is a lot of people dealing with a lot of shit right now, and I am not without it either, but I thought I would take the time to share some good news.

I had weight loss surgery in November, and I am currently down 35kgs. I still want to lose another 35 or so, but I am feeling so much better, more energy, healthier etc.

 

[Mr 95%]

Hey kids,

I know there is a lot of people dealing with a lot of shit right now, and I am not without it either, but I thought I would take the time to share some good news.

I had weight loss surgery in November, and I am currently down 35kgs. I still want to lose another 35 or so, but I am feeling so much better, more energy, healthier etc.

Outstanding bro..great effort!

Ps..for one sec I thought you said you weighed only 35kgs..and I thought sheesh!

 

[Mr Invisible]

They watch movies, they're into sports.
I can't sit through a movie anymore and my passion for sports has been dead for a long time.
Nothing really interests me.
You know how you get a dog frantically chasing it's tail?
That's pretty much my life in a nutshell.

You lack motivation and drive sounds like. Trust me I know EXACTLY the feeling (story of my life at the moment).

Getting paid to watch movies or sport, that's a dream job for most, though I can understand it may not be mentally engaging enough.

What about extra curriculum/study during the quiet periods? Also stress levels are they low in your job?

Hey kids,
I know there is a lot of people dealing with a lot of shit right now, and I am not without it either, but I thought I would take the time to share some good news.
I had weight loss surgery in November, and I am currently down 35kgs. I still want to lose another 35 or so, but I am feeling so much better, more energy, healthier etc.

Congrats mate... thats brilliant news! Still enjoying driving those trains?

 

[Memberberries]

You lack motivation and drive sounds like. Trust me I know EXACTLY the feeling (story of my life at the moment).

Getting paid to watch movies or sport, that's a dream job for most, though I can understand it may not be mentally engaging enough.

What about extra curriculum/study during the quiet periods? Also stress levels are they low in your job?


Congrats mate... thats brilliant news! Still enjoying driving those trains?

I've got no real interests or hobbies.

I'm just living to die right now.

 

[Mr Invisible]

I've got no real interests or hobbies.

I'm just living to die right now.

Surely you have something that you enjoy doing?

 

[Mr 95%]

I've got no real interests or hobbies.

I'm just living to die right now.

Life is the interest brother..life is the hobby.. Maybe you need a break from the routine you’re in at the moment..a change of pace.. perhaps a holiday?

 

[Ecca]

You lack motivation and drive sounds like. Trust me I know EXACTLY the feeling (story of my life at the moment).

Getting paid to watch movies or sport, that's a dream job for most, though I can understand it may not be mentally engaging enough.

What about extra curriculum/study during the quiet periods? Also stress levels are they low in your job?


Congrats mate... thats brilliant news! Still enjoying driving those trains?

best career change ever.

I get to drive past Belmore nearly every day, catch a glimpse of the boys training

 

[Ecca]

Outstanding bro..great effort!

Ps..for one sec I thought you said you weighed only 35kgs..and I thought sheesh!

nah, I'm a fat ****.

Started at 155kg, down to 120 now.

 

[Memberberries]

Surely you have something that you enjoy doing?

I guess walking my dog. Someone I play PlayStation with occasional said I should work with animals.
I don’t know how to get into that.