The "R U OK ?" Thread

Ecca

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Things will change it only took 4 trips to the zoo for me lol. My youngest boy just started school and I honestly thought he wouldn't last a week so much we were preparing to enroll him in a special school .I had tried to teach him to read and write and he had no interest half an hour before the first day he didn't even know the days of the week so I told him on the way to school , he hasnt forgotten. Well he is going fine at school and even socializing .in their own time ecca things will change .I still cant believe some of the major changes over the last few years.my mornings are still hell lol I cannot stand being in the house in the mornings its to intense for me. And 3/4 of that problem is me I get to stubborn and need to learn to change my approach.
Cheers SOH, it is not so much that he doesn't get it etc, it was just the utter disinterest in it, that got to me. He is going well and he is happy and healthy, and we got in early, and I know we will give him every opportunity to thrive.


Autism is a tough thing. They still do form emotional connections and do have a somewhat sense of wonder but it's all internal. I can't imagine how difficult it would be having a kid that you just can't easily connect with, but deep down there is a connection there, it's just not easy to see.
Cheers Jacob, on the emotional connection, oh I know, he certainly does that, affection is displayed in different ways and on his own terms, but it is still there. all is well
 

dogluva

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Ecca my heart goes out to you mate.Life can deal you some really crappy hands and no matter what you do you can't seem to see light at the end of the tunnel.It must be really difficult as a parent to deal with a child who has autism but to me in regards to your comments you seem like a beautiful and caring person and you do the best you can to be there for him.No matter how bad it gets and how much despair you suffer know that at least you are making a difference in his life.It is a pity that there are not more people like you in this world who take the time to care.Please don,t be sad but be joyful that you have this wonderful little human being in your life.
 

Ecca

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Ecca my heart goes out to you mate.Life can deal you some really crappy hands and no matter what you do you can't seem to see light at the end of the tunnel.It must be really difficult as a parent to deal with a child who has autism but to me in regards to your comments you seem like a beautiful and caring person and you do the best you can to be there for him.No matter how bad it gets and how much despair you suffer know that at least you are making a difference in his life.It is a pity that there are not more people like you in this world who take the time to care.Please don,t be sad but be joyful that you have this wonderful little human being in your life.

Thanks mate, but please do not feel sorry for me, when it comes to my kids there is nothing crappy about the hand I have been dealt. From looking like we were not going to have kids, to having 2 of them, is great. The autism, well that is just another challenge. He sees things that no one else sees, and once he points them out to you you wonder how it was you never saw it that way before. I just need to be careful about using slang around him as he is a VERY literal thinker. I once told him to pull his head in, so what does he do, puts both his hands on top of his head and pushes down hard. DEAD SET CRACKED ME UP.

Last night just hit me hard because I had a different expectation about how it was going to go
 
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i can relate Ecca, one of my sisters is heavily affected by autism. she can't function and communicate, and it always shits me that i can never have a normal conversation with her
 

south of heaven

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Yes the old literal thinking lol cant that be fun. I think 4 is probably the hardest age to deal with well 3 to 5 was a nightmare with the yongest one. Things will change for the better brother.
 

Ecca

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Yes the old literal thinking lol cant that be fun. I think 4 is probably the hardest age to deal with well 3 to 5 was a nightmare with the yongest one. Things will change for the better brother.
Yeah I know, on the literal thinking front, I find that hard, because I use a lot of slang, and every time i do, I need to explain myself or face the consequences
 

dogluva

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Ecca, I did not wish to upset you;please be assured that I did not mean to intimate that having your kids was a crappy hand. I suppose the way in which I said things;maybe they did not come out the way I really meant them to.Kids are a blessing and no matter what,are a wonderful source of pride and love. I rejoice in the differences among us and it is indeed eye opening and quite refreshing to see how each of us lives with the life we are given.Autism is a much maligned and misunderstood condition and how we (and you) choose to deal with it just shows what type of a person we are.Just keep on loving your little ones and encourage them to be all they can be.You are obviously a really good dad.
 

Captain Kickass

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Quick update : I feel like I'm back to normal. Even taken on a short-term consultancy project at work which has been a good little challenge and even mentally refreshing.

Thanks everyone :grinning:
 

Rodzilla

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the rodzilla is home alone now currently talking to the walls

someone please try to rob me at least that would be interesting, i have $500
 

Ecca

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Ecca, I did not wish to upset you;please be assured that I did not mean to intimate that having your kids was a crappy hand. I suppose the way in which I said things;maybe they did not come out the way I really meant them to.Kids are a blessing and no matter what,are a wonderful source of pride and love. I rejoice in the differences among us and it is indeed eye opening and quite refreshing to see how each of us lives with the life we are given.Autism is a much maligned and misunderstood condition and how we (and you) choose to deal with it just shows what type of a person we are.Just keep on loving your little ones and encourage them to be all they can be.You are obviously a really good dad.
No offence taken at all, the sad fact is people hear autism and think oh poor you. It's the challenges that make the little achievements all the sweeter
 

Alan79

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the rodzilla is home alone now currently talking to the walls

someone please try to rob me at least that would be interesting, i have $500
I've been living a solitary life for a long while Rodzilla. The walls don't make for good company and sometimes it's the hardest thing to tell people you feel isolated. But so many people here on thekennel appreciate you. Your humor has brightened my day more than once. Maybe that isn't a big consolation if you're feeling isolated at the moment but you have plenty of friends here. If things are getting you down feel free to drop me a pm to complain about whats getting you down.
 

Hacky McAxe

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the rodzilla is home alone now currently talking to the walls

someone please try to rob me at least that would be interesting, i have $500
Let's put our money together and invest in something. With your $500 and my $5 we could do anything!
 

Hacky McAxe

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Quick update : I feel like I'm back to normal. Even taken on a short-term consultancy project at work which has been a good little challenge and even mentally refreshing.

Thanks everyone :grinning:
Good to hear that you're getting your head in the right place.

I've been having ups and downs lately and I've only recently realised that I need to keep my mind distracted to level things out so I'm going back to Uni to get my head in the right place.
 

Lady Emerald

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Okay so I never normally get the shits over things in my workplace but enough is enough and I need to vent about this.

Ive been working here 3 years. Doing the same role, same thing and etc.
Been given the opportunity to do other roles when needed every now and then however, once they get the help they needed, I get pushed to the side and someone will get put ahead of me. No biggie as usually the bosses would be honest and say- 'I don't suit the role' or 'I'm needed more for my current one at the time and can move onto another one when my current one is filled'.

I recently got trained and put forward for this role, which I really enjoyed, and was told by the bosses ' we don't need you for it today as we managed to sort things out over the weekend'. Again, no stress- whatever I'm happy and got on with it.

I was doing my thing around lunch time when those SAME people (my direct boss who mind you is supposed to be a 'good friend' too) lied to my face and asked a girl in my team (who's been there no more than 3 months) to do the EXACT same thing I was trained for- which she has NO experience in!
I'm not pissed that they picked someone over me- that's happened the whole time I've been here. Whats given me the shits is the lies and the fact that no matter what I do to move up, my work is over looked and unappreciated. I've been walked all over by everyone in this place and I've finally thrown my hands up in surrender. Enough is enough!
I'm starting to look for a new job, and TBH I stayed here because In the companies own words ' they need us more than we need them'- doesn't feel like it and I've had enough of waiting to be appreciated for the hard work and effort I put in each day for myself and my team.

Here's to new beginnings!
 

Ecca

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Okay so I never normally get the shits over things in my workplace but enough is enough and I need to vent about this.

Ive been working here 3 years. Doing the same role, same thing and etc.
Been given the opportunity to do other roles when needed every now and then however, once they get the help they needed, I get pushed to the side and someone will get put ahead of me. No biggie as usually the bosses would be honest and say- 'I don't suit the role' or 'I'm needed more for my current one at the time and can move onto another one when my current one is filled'.

I recently got trained and put forward for this role, which I really enjoyed, and was told by the bosses ' we don't need you for it today as we managed to sort things out over the weekend'. Again, no stress- whatever I'm happy and got on with it.

I was doing my thing around lunch time when those SAME people (my direct boss who mind you is supposed to be a 'good friend' too) lied to my face and asked a girl in my team (who's been there no more than 3 months) to do the EXACT same thing I was trained for- which she has NO experience in!
I'm not pissed that they picked someone over me- that's happened the whole time I've been here. Whats given me the shits is the lies and the fact that no matter what I do to move up, my work is over looked and unappreciated. I've been walked all over by everyone in this place and I've finally thrown my hands up in surrender. Enough is enough!
I'm starting to look for a new job, and TBH I stayed here because In the companies own words ' they need us more than we need them'- doesn't feel like it and I've had enough of waiting to be appreciated for the hard work and effort I put in each day for myself and my team.

Here's to new beginnings!
I feel your pain, had a similar situation at one job, was there for 3 1/2 years, same role, I applied at the 2 1/2 year mark for more senior roles as they became available, only to be overlooked and no real reason given, eventually whilst out with one of the big bosses at a corporate box at the footy (as reward and recognition) after a HEAP of drinks she told me that they couldn't afford to lose me from my current role as I was to good at it. So shortly after I quit.

As a foot note, I really wish I had stayed there, all in all it was a great place to work, and I would have eventually gotten further up the ladder.

Best of luck with it, and I am sure you won't have any problem finding a better more suitable role
 

Lady Emerald

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I feel your pain, had a similar situation at one job, was there for 3 1/2 years, same role, I applied at the 2 1/2 year mark for more senior roles as they became available, only to be overlooked and no real reason given, eventually whilst out with one of the big bosses at a corporate box at the footy (as reward and recognition) after a HEAP of drinks she told me that they couldn't afford to lose me from my current role as I was to good at it. So shortly after I quit.

As a foot note, I really wish I had stayed there, all in all it was a great place to work, and I would have eventually gotten further up the ladder.

Best of luck with it, and I am sure you won't have any problem finding a better more suitable role
Thanks Ecca, appreciate the feedback. Hope you were able to bag something better though?

In terms of them keeping me in the role I'm in for their own benefit, If that's the case where I am at the moment I'd tell them to stick it, only because of all the broken promises and lies.
Don't get me wrong it's an awesome place to work for the culture but that's about it
I stuck around waiting for an opportunity only to be beaten by people under me with less experience and I didn't bat an eyelid.
It's the lying and the betrayal I felt that just made it the final straw.
In the end I have seen so many available jobs closer to home offering the same or more money and the job is easier- I could do most of these roles with my eyes shut, and I'm sure I'll be able to bag one quite soon, so I'll hold my head high until that day and once that day comes, I'll make sure that I tell them exactly why they've lost me.
I know I sound like I'm bragging but a lot of things within the company may not have improved without my work and I want to walk away with them remembering that they won't be able to find an employee that will do the things that I did for them.
 

dogluva

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This is an absolutely brilliant thread.A burden shared is a burden halved and good on everyone for your input. We all have something in our life that we need to share with someone just to get it out of our systems.
I have struggled with depression in the past and it took the love of a good man and a supportive family to get me back on track.I stil have my moments but am managing well now without the need for medication ( which I have taken in the past).
Now my poor daughter God love her is struggling with constant bullying from her "peers" who seem to think that they are the be all and end all of things. She has been cutting ( I have had to take her pencil sharpeners off her as she has been removing the blades to use) and has expressed her feelings of worthlessness. She hates school and has lost that spark she had as a young child.We are getting her help both with alerting the school about the students involved and having them punished with suspensions etc.; She is under the care of a psychiatrist and medication.Hardly seems fair considering she is only a baby at 13. She is dealing with the inevitable hormone changes and other things that young people go through during puberty and she has to put up with this sort of crap.
I take heart from some of the life stories in this thread and I thank you all for sharing
 

Ghost of Dime

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Gayest shit ever. Man up and puch fark out of a weaker person. This is the way to true inner pube twitchingness.
 

Hacky McAxe

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Gayest shit ever. Man up and puch fark out of a weaker person. This is the way to true inner pube twitchingness.
Says the man that couldn't even complete a gig without dying on stage. Learn to dodge bullets.
 
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