The "R U OK ?" Thread

[Mr Beast]

Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.

Sounds like ASSASSIN against trolls here tbh

 

[The DoggFather]

Sounds like ASSASSIN against trolls here tbh

That's me to a T lol

 

[The DoggFather]

All jokes aside, I suffer those syptoms on a daily basis.

It's not nice being me.

 

[MattyB]

I am trying to give up the Darts, so I am wearing a Nicotine Patch, I have felt like shite all week, but reading the comments means I need to suck it up as a lot of others are doing it tougher than me.
Carry on!
MB

 

[The DoggFather]

I am trying to give up the Darts, so I am wearing a Nicotine Patch, I have felt like shite all week, but reading the comments means I need to suck it up as a lot of others are doing it tougher than me.
Carry on!
MB

Man those patches turned me into an animal, aggressive as a bull. Plus gave me homicidal fantasies and weird arse dreams.

Had to stop them, but I hope they work outfor you bro.

 

[FreshSoulL]

Wow just reading these are sad. Hope you're all okay.

Ive never faced such issues so I probably wouldnt understand exactly what you guys do go through. Keep strong and my prayers are with you.

 

[cntrbry bnkstwn]

i'll probably admit i have a slight depression as well, feeling a bit useless as university isn't working out so good for me, been getting ignored by "the one", and been applying for 100's of jobs only to be rejected and not returned to over several occasions. Not exactly sure what i'm doing wrong, considering most of my friends have gotten into the jobs that i want, it just seems really impossible for me, feeling a bit lost tbh but yeah definitely not on the extreme part of depression yet, as i don't see myself ending my life, but have had thoughts of it (not seriously tho)

and when opportunities do arise, i find myself missing out (out of my control) e.g. had an interview for a job that i wanted, left to go which was in parramatta coming from canterbury area, i'd need to take the m4 and excatly on that day a person had got run over by a truck in the james ruse exit (the one i needed to go to) which caused 14km of traffic, and bam an opportunity gone!

but i find the best way to fight it, is i guess go out and really just soak in how beautiful this world is (walking the dog/alone time etc) really gets your mind off things, but yeah hopefully i see the light at the end of the tunnel soon, right now don't feel so good :/

i had a similar experience to this when i started my first proper job. first day at the job straight out of uni, i was about 19 at the time, just moved to a foreign country.

was sitting at the bus stop waiting, and as the bus arrived a girl was rushing to cross the road to get the bus, she didn't make it. The vision was gruesome, but it's the splat sound that I have never been able to forget.

 

[likeadoggy]

so Wolfmother is actually a chick. Or a homosexual, this does and doesn't surprise me.

Seriously though this is a serious subject and it's obvious that if you're having empty feelings as a result of depression or something not as tangible then the best thing to do is to seek help and talk about it. My mates friend committed suicide 3 weeks ago and it's sad to hear about you guys and the struggles you're having.

I obviously don't know the answer but if you try and do things for others and recite positive affirmations every day, the thoughts you put out will come back to you. There is an answer and most of the time you already know what it is.You have to believe in you and believe that you were special enough to be given a shot at this life.

Good luck and ask for help. Chances are the bloke next to you is suffering as well.

 

[deimus]

I am trying to give up the Darts, so I am wearing a Nicotine Patch, I have felt like shite all week, but reading the comments means I need to suck it up as a lot of others are doing it tougher than me.
Carry on!
MB

Keep up the good work. Its not bloody easy but its certainly worth it in the end. I didn't have much luck with the patches but the lozenges certainly helped me quit. Used to have one when the urges got really strong. They taste like absolute shite though. Been smoke free for a couple of years now.

 

[Hacky McAxe]

I am trying to give up the Darts, so I am wearing a Nicotine Patch, I have felt like shite all week, but reading the comments means I need to suck it up as a lot of others are doing it tougher than me.
Carry on!
MB

Do not sleep with them on. I used the patches and they help but seriously, do not sleep with them on. Take them off before you go to sleep. They screw with your head.

I had some crazy dreams when I slept with them on. One time I dreamt I was back in school and the school was attached by terrorists. I tried to fight them but I wasn't strong enough. Then I woke up in my room. After a few seconds an alien ran into my room and I realised I was still dreaming, then I was attacked again until I woke up in my room again, then found out I was dreaming again.

This happened about 30 times by which stage I accepted the fact that I was never going to wake up. Scared the heck out of me. When I finally did wake up I sat in bed for about 30 minutes waiting for something to happen.

On the plus side, each sub-dream I was learning to fight and getting stronger. On the last dream I walked up to a cliff and there was an army below me. I flew up into the air and rained fireballs down on them Dragonball Z style. It was pretty cool.

Also, don't drink with them on 'cause you're still going to smoke anyway, you just wake up feeling like you've eaten an ashtray.

 

[Stoofy]

so Wolfmother is actually a chick. Or a homosexual, this does and doesn't surprise me.

Seriously though this is a serious subject and it's obvious that if you're having empty feelings as a result of depression or something not as tangible then the best thing to do is to seek help and talk about it. My mates friend committed suicide 3 weeks ago and it's sad to hear about you guys and the struggles you're having.

I obviously don't know the answer but if you try and do things for others and recite positive affirmations every day, the thoughts you put out will come back to you. There is an answer and most of the time you already know what it is.You have to believe in you and believe that you were special enough to be given a shot at this life.

Good luck and ask for help. Chances are the bloke next to you is suffering as well.

Thats something that works! Self-worth is very important.

I havent done that in ages but will start again. Set little goals & kick them in the ass!

 

[CroydonDog]

Thats something that works! Self-worth is very important.

I havent done that in ages but will start again. Set little goals & kick them in the ass!

+1 Psychologist use this technique... but also being around positive people who are truly there for you is a big help. I know it would be much harder without my partner reminding me that i'm not a bad bloke after all (as opposed, of course, to a footy player who has groupies stroking his ego constantly).

 

[BulldogsFAN]

i had a similar experience to this when i started my first proper job. first day at the job straight out of uni, i was about 19 at the time, just moved to a foreign country.

was sitting at the bus stop waiting, and as the bus arrived a girl was rushing to cross the road to get the bus, she didn't make it. The vision was gruesome, but it's the splat sound that I have never been able to forget.

thank god i didn't actually witness it! i was just sitting in traffic wondering wtf happened, and heard on the radio and everyone on facebook complaining they're late to work/exams

Nano i'm glad you've overcome it! one of the good things is i've never had family problems, they've always been loving and supporting however they do put alot of pressure on me e.g. we're renting atm and they expect me to be able to save up for a deposit for a house etc considering i'll be the first generation i guess to be degree qualified in australia

thinking about all this makes me realise how depression is so common and out there, when i was a kid i was thinking to myself why would someone be depressed etc etc, now i sorta understand them and stuff

 

[Moe]

I had some crazy dreams when I slept with them on. One time I dreamt I was back in school and the school was attached by terrorists. I tried to fight them but I wasn't strong enough. Then I woke up in my room. After a few seconds an alien ran into my room and I realised I was still dreaming, then I was attacked again until I woke up in my room again, then found out I was dreaming again.

This happened about 30 times by which stage I accepted the fact that I was never going to wake up. Scared the heck out of me. When I finally did wake up I sat in bed for about 30 minutes waiting for something to happen.

On the plus side, each sub-dream I was learning to fight and getting stronger. On the last dream I walked up to a cliff and there was an army below me. I flew up into the air and rained fireballs down on them Dragonball Z style. It was pretty cool.

This gives me an idea for a new thread...

 

[Nano]

thank god i didn't actually witness it! i was just sitting in traffic wondering wtf happened, and heard on the radio and everyone on facebook complaining they're late to work/exams

Nano i'm glad you've overcome it! one of the good things is i've never had family problems, they've always been loving and supporting however they do put alot of pressure on me e.g. we're renting atm and they expect me to be able to save up for a deposit for a house etc considering i'll be the first generation i guess to be degree qualified in australia

thinking about all this makes me realise how depression is so common and out there, when i was a kid i was thinking to myself why would someone be depressed etc etc, now i sorta understand them and stuff

I'm still fighting the struggle that has been created by my parents that should of have never been there but I'm strong enough mentally and physically to get through it.

I have something lined up that I need a few more interviews to get into to but things are looked good for it especially my knee (I haven't got scans for it yet though I can start to jog, put weight on it and gym again unlike other people I have met who were diagnosed with torn ACLs not being able to walk properly even after physio I didn't even go to a physio since I have no money so I did it my self lol).

 

[Indiandog]

I'm still fighting the struggle that has been created by my parents that should of have never been there but I'm strong enough mentally and physically to get through it.

I have something lined up that I need a few more interviews to get into to but things are looked good for it especially my knee (I haven't got scans for it yet though I can start to jog, put weight on it and gym again unlike other people I have met who were diagnosed with torn ACLs not being able to walk properly even after physio I didn't even go to a physio since I have no money so I did it my self lol).

Good luck with your endeavors bro. Just keep one thing In mind that no parent in this world wants bad for their kids.

 

[Captain Kickass]

WOW.

So many quality posts it'd take me 2 days to get back to you all (resulting in a 25,000 post multi-quote reply), so rather than go to that trouble I'm just gonna pour open the container and see what spills out ... I, like a lot of you, have had my share of hard-knocks and ongoing stresses.

- Born full-term to a Mum with cerebral palsy (moderate/progessive physical afflications, but completely alert mentally/verbally).
- Lost a 6mth old brother aged 6.
- Mum lost twins girls in utero aged 7.
- 3rd time lucky, healthy brother born aged 8.

Everything was going swimmingly. Lived in Wiley Park, moved to C/town aged 8. Good in school. Bright kid. Liked cricket & footy. Childhood was happy despite the drama behind the scenes. Got teased about my Mum on occasion, but nothing I couldn't fight my way out of. Fast forward to about 12yo ...

- Lost 1st grandparent aged 12.
- High school years survived with a large diet of denial, flagrant individualism and retreating into music, girls and sport.
- Lost all grandparents by 18.

Again, high school was good for the most part. Pimples, algebra and teenage infidelity. The usual. Had lots of fun times with lots of ladies. Had a crew of mates. Had a few muso mates. I was easily identifiable socially, and without being the ringleader, was never far away from the centre of attention, often by default. Not long after ...

- Got diagnosed with Crohn's Disease aged 18, just 6months after HSC.
- Suffered ongoing symptoms, weight loss, massive pain episodes for 2months before being diagnosed with a secondary "lifelong" condition that is slowly eating away at my bile ducts, and can only be cured by a liver transplant. (Called "Primary Sclerosiong Cholangitis" : See link here -> http://www.patient.co.uk/health/primary-sclerosing-cholangitis-leaflet)

It's important to note that while reads as a shopping list of constant dramas, along the way the has been lots to cheer about, and by nature I'm generally a positive, uplifting presence or try to be surrounded by it. I'm smart enough to talk my way out of fights that my smarts (or lack of) sometimes get me into. I've got charm, I respect my elders and GF's parents and can migrate from social circle to social circle with ease. I've entered the adult world as a bright guy with loads of potential and plenty of aspirations.

Looking back ... it's at this point, about 19-20yo where I was starting to getting depressed.

Ill-health, adjusting to dietary changes, interrupted work ambitions and to a large degree inescapable depression at home (remember those grandparents who all died quick ? ... my parents struggled, as would anyone) ... all began to mount. It became difficult to separate them as individual challenges anymore. I started to question "will I ever live a normal life ?", and the answer I had staring me in the face was dressed like "Nope, because you'll need a liver transplant within 10-15 years.". So I just "got on with things", as you do. Sure my 'plate' was pretty big, but I figured "it's not like I have cancer, and I can still walk and all" ....

Two things occurred after that ...

- Aged 23, I had a savage break-up with a girl I'd spent 3 years with. What started as perfection ended in growing mistrust and finally a nasty incident I'd rather not revisit (long story short, she embarrassed me publicly in front of a table full of friends and I threw a drink in her face ... I'm not proud of it, it'd been brewing for ages. It is what it is. I walked away, cut my losses, licked my wounds and never looked back). So I was left thinking "you can be the perfect guy and it all goes to sh*t even if you do everything perfect". I had to re-think everything I did when it came to why I chase women, and why I do it, and whether it was worth it all.

Single life was going OK. I'd started dating. Work was going well. Then, out of the clear blue sky ...

- Aged 24, at 9.20pm on August 20, 2000 ... after a relative minor disagreement between my parents, my father killed himself.

Just ... like ... THAT.
GONE !

He was there 20mins ago ...
What the f*ck ?!?!?

(..... I know ....It's heavy sh*t .... Have a pause to soak it in.)

So ... the ugly truth is Mum found him, screamed in a way that'll haunt me forever, then I ran downstairs and found him. We cut him down, tried to revive him knowing it'd only felt a few minutes or so I was separating them two from their nonsense little tiff, I called the ambos AND tried to revive him at same time as keeping my Mum focused, we waited what seemed like forever, they arrived and took over but .... nothing ... he was gone.

I knew the second the ambos said "I'm sorry mate", that the entire trajectory of my life had changed forever, and nothing would ever be the same again. At 24yo, I had to quit my career to care for my disabled mum, while my 17yo brother tried to compose himself for the upcoming HSC, and somehow try to navigate us all through a recovery. AND THAT ... was almost 14 years ago.

By now, I knew mental health was going to be a large focus of my future life management. My day to day health dictated the clock is ticking and I have to micro-manage my health, and a large part of that for me involved minimising stress. But I had f*cking Buckleys of ever achieving that outcome with the life plate that'd had been served up to me over the years. The recipe was there for to have a spectacular meltdown. I wasn't sure how much "good-health" was left in my liver.

By the time I was 26, I was back into my career and I'd started a relationship with a good friend of many years, and together we decided to start a family. Despite multiple day-surgeries, multiple poorly-thought-out counselling attempts and everything else life wanted to chuck at me ... I was confident enough in my health to have child knowing if anything drastic happened to me, they'd be well looked after), and I fell back into my previous career with rapid success. 10 short weeks before my eldest was born, I got fired unfairly which led to Industrial Relations, etc ... and it wasn't until THEN ... I FINALLY got help for a proper f*cking therapist.

It became pretty f*cking apparent to the point of being undeniable ... I WAS DEPRESSED.
AND ... I'd become anxious about the future.
As listed above, there are truckloads of reasons why it had been brewing for years.

Therapy for ME : Therapy and medication have been fantastic tools to have in my arsenal. I don't use them all the time but in times of high stress, I'm smart enough these days and not scared to use them. I take Zoloft for extended periods at a time, and occasionally have a little time off when I'm feeling happy and content.

Recovery for ME : Will never end. I had to reconcile that ages ago. I am mentally ill. My circumstances dictate that if left unchecked, I get depressed and anxious on an industrial scale. I gotta manage that sh*t, if I ever wanna get control of it. For me, there is no end-date. It's going to be a lifelong challenge.

The future : Right now, I'm married to the best Mother for my children I could have ever prayed for. Speaking of which, I got three kids aged 8 and under, which have proven to be exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it. I work casually to a roster that I can determine, and supplement my income with DSP (only been on it last 2 years, could've been on it years ago but didn't). The bills are paid, there's a roof overhead, I can walk, I got arms, I can stand and breathe on my own. I'm still beating the odds with my own health (12 surgeries in 18 years, with no sign of needing a transplant yet), I'm in a much better place mentally these days.

Final advice : I gotta wind this up sometime don't I ...

(1)I'm a big believer in simple rules and universal truths ... "Asking life to treat you kindly because you're a nice guy, is a but like asking a bull not to charge at you because you're a vegetarian." ..... that kind of thing. Light-bulb moments can be powerful momentum shifters.

(2) When all else fails, music will save you everytime.

(3) March to the beat of your own drum ... and/or ... Be a rainbow in a sea of f*cking grey !

(4) Laugh ... even if it's to laugh at how f*ckin ridiculous it's all become. Just laugh, and end it on your own terms, before you suck up the energy to move on.

(5) At the core, you have to summon a desire to "not be unhappy" anymore. You wont achieve a f*cking thing if you don't have it, or if you half-arse it.

This post has taken me nearly 3 hours.
I'm overwhelmed with the catharsis.

Just know, that behind this exterior of "CK", is a mild-mannered-Damo who isn't too much different from you, and right now he thinks the world of you for reading and participating in this thread.

Explains a lot eh ?

:becky: :thumb:

 

[Bob dog]

Apparently my house is bugged by Commies who have set up speakers in nearby properties that they try and use to remote control me in my home with instructions, so I do the opposite and listen to the yell 'stop', funny stuff.

 

[Blue&White]

Good luck with your endeavors bro. Just keep one thing In mind that no parent in this world wants bad for their kids.

Well said

 

[south of heaven]

Thanks to all sharing their story. I hope we all get something out of it