What would you do???

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Loyalty is the foundation of a strong relationship, why you would risk it for 'being nice' is beyond me.
 
-Kurry- said:
This is what I would do, so not the best advice lol:


I wouldn't flick him off quick. I'd narrow my eyes and lower my ear to the ground and just watch him for a while.
I wouldn't turn psycho either throwing accusations, maybe a polite conversation- his reaction often will reveal guilt!
This also allows for you to prepare for the relationship to end and prepare for the hurt, figure out what you're going to say etc...OR maintain the partnership if it is nothing other than her paranoia.

But at the end of the day, if a girl is having to doubt her man and stress over him that much, maybe it isn't the best relationship to stay in and bother with.

Fact of the matter is, if he truly loved her and is faithful, he would put her feelings before some other tarts....even if it is a stupid request, he should do it for her and cease sneaky conversation.
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Spot on, be proactive not reactive but at the same time dont assume guilt straight away. If you generalise that all blokes who are nice to girls when they have a partner, well then you are not deserving of being in a relationship. Same goes for blokes also.
 
Hansta said:
Spot on, be proactive not reactive but at the same time dont assume guilt straight away. If you generalise that all blokes who are nice to girls when they have a partner, well then you are not deserving of being in a relationship. Same goes for blokes also.
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Exactly. No point going all psycho without hard evidence.

Stay cool calm and collected.
If he is stupidly innocent, you dont seem like a retard after it all.
If he is guilty of cheating, you can burn him with your prepared and ice cool demeanour because you already knew for a while. ;)
 
So I guess sticking a video camera in his undies wouldn't be a good idea?
 
I reckon if she knows the girl as well, she should ask him in private if he'd be interested in a menage a trois. You'll get your answer judging by his reaction.

Why wait?
 
Slippery said:
I reckon if she knows the girl as well, she should ask him in private if he'd be interested in a menage a trois. You'll get your answer judging by his reaction.

Why wait?
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You're a guy so you would probably know better...but...

If a guy says yes to a threesome with a third party, even enthusiastically, it doesn't necessarily mean he would partake in a physical relationship with the 'other woman' by himself, does it? I mean most men would love their woman suggesting some other tart to come in, doesn't mean he is a cheater just because he loves the idea of two chicks on his d*ck haha.

COULD he be one of those rare good guy and be attracted to other woman, but won't do anything. Do guys like that still exist? :p
 
-Kurry- said:
You're a guy so you would probably know better...but...

If a guy says yes to a threesome with a third party, even enthusiastically, it doesn't necessarily mean he would partake in a physical relationship with the 'other woman' by himself, does it? I mean most men would love their woman suggesting some other tart to come in, doesn't mean he is a cheater just because he loves the idea of two chicks on his d*ck haha.

COULD he be one of those rare good guy and be attracted to other woman, but won't do anything. Do guys like that still exist? :p
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No it doesn't, but it does tell you that he'd stick his penis in another woman's vagina, even during your relationship. Right? How can you trust him then? Relationships are built on trust.

If he does the little squirm and give you that sheepish look, you'll know what he's been doin. I guess you have to be a perceptive person to pick up on it.

And yes, they do exist.
 
Slippery said:
No it doesn't, but it does tell you that he'd stick his penis in another woman's vagina, even during your relationship. Right? How can you trust him then? Relationships are built on trust.

If he does the little squirm and give you that sheepish look, you'll know what he's been doin. I guess you have to be a perceptive person to pick up on it.

And yes, they do exist.
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Yeah, as I said before, you can normally decipher a lot from what people haven't spoken and shown in their reactions.


But, correct me if I'm wrong.....but are you saying, that your personal opinion is that any man [or woman for that sake] who participates in a consensual threesome during a relationship is not to be trusted? Even if both parties agreed? Interesting.


I would never have brought the trust issue in to the equation. But I do think it would give the partners a taste of fresh meat and I would never let him do it, just incase he wants more ahhahaa
 
-Kurry- said:
Yeah, as I said before, you can normally decipher a lot from what people haven't spoken and shown in their reactions.


But, correct me if I'm wrong.....but are you saying, that your personal opinion is that any man [or woman for that sake] who participates in a consensual threesome during a relationship is not to be trusted? Even if both parties agreed? Interesting.


I would never have brought the trust issue in to the equation. But I do think it would give the partners a taste of fresh meat and I would never let him do it, just incase he wants more ahhahaa
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That is my opinion. :grinning:
 
Slippery said:
That is my opinion. :grinning:
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That's cool. Not judging.
I'm kind of the same way TBH. If you love someone, why do you need or want to go getting it on with other people...while your love watches. It's a bit weird for me.

*shrugs*
 
-Kurry- said:
That's cool. Not judging.
I'm kind of the same way TBH. If you love someone, why do you need or want to go getting it on with other people...while your love watches. It's a bit weird for me.

*shrugs*
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I know you're not judging, lol.

If you're not together, then that's fine, your own business. But if you're in a relationship and going 3s, or 4s, or 12s, then you're not really in one are you? Relationship is 2 people, no more.
 
since when was chatting on facebook and msn a "nice thing"? i thought it was something you did with everyone and with randoms. If that's all it's based on, without knowing the actual conversations, i'd say find out what's going on for real before jumping the gun. And tbh, the majority of the world, whether in relationships or single, still flirt. But that's my personal opinion
 
Meh as long as they don't have an emotional or physical relationship I say it's not a big deal. People are all different and deal with things differently though. At the end of the day it's between the 2 people and what you consider dealbreakers in a relationship. Chatting to randoms and friends of opposite sex us part of life and a good way to make contacts professionally or socially.
The friend should maybe bring it up if she thinks it's a problem. This may mean he'll come clean or it will prevent anything further from happening if that's what he was thinking of doing.
Personally it wouldn't bother me, aslong as he's not banging her or showering her with affection while with me lol.
 
what would you do if your son was at home,
cryin' all alone on the bedroom floor
cuz he's hungry, and the only way to feed him
is to sleep with a man for a
little bit of money and his daddy's gone,
somewhere smokin' rock now,
in and out of lock down,
I ain't got a job now,
so for you this is just a good time but for me this is what
I call life, mmm

LOL the name of this thread reminded me of that song!
 
If he's talking to her to the point that it makes you feel uncomfortable then I say talk to him and let him know.
 
:roflol:
life advice on a forum is sick!

any psychologists around? i need to see one asap
 
Hmmm Okkkay JAO, I thunk yew need ta talk to yer boyfrund mmkay?

Firstly though the main crux of the matter revolves around what he is doing that is nice to her. That will say a LOT about the situation.

If he's opening doors for her, or helping her out with homework, or picking her up and taking her places because she doesn't have transport, it's probably harmless.

If however he's buying her gifts that tend to have a romantic touch to them, being deliberately sneaky/evasive (on phone or in person) or just generally making excuses why he can't be with you, then perhaps it's time to start worrying.

Once you've got that part sorted out, you have to be really sure that he is doing the dirty. Guys are REALLY simple (sorry guys I've ratted us out here), and will normally give out signs that a womans intuition picks up on.

I've been with my gf over 10 years now, and she can tell if I've done something stupid/funny/dumb, because (and I'm not aware of it) but my behaviour and personality changes very slightly.

Look out for those markers, because they will give you a really good indication of if there is trouble in paradise.

Eye contact is a really good place to start reading people. I normally look directly at people when talking to them, and if you are talking to someone and watching their eyes and body it can tell you a lot. Nervous scratching/fiddling/fidgeting can give away that a person is uncomfortable with a subject, or is not really interested in the conversation, whereas shifting eyes (the eyes right trick) can give away that someone is either not interested in what you have to say, is simply lieing, or is distracted by something behind you.

Another important thing to ask, is how long you've been together/known each other. It it's only a recent relationship, he may still be getting used to things in it. If it's a 5+ year relationship he might feel trapped in a bit of a "lul" and his wandering eye is wondering "what if". If you've known them a long time, have they had a history of girlfriends?

It's impossible behind a computer for us to tell you if it's something innocent or sinister, but surely if you take a few hints from above, you might be able to piece together more of the puzzle. You won't be able to tell what he's up to, but he WILL give himself away.

Oh and the golden rule, DO NOT jump the gun until you are 100% sure you've got him red handed. It'll destroy a relationship and push him towards another girl if you accuse him of doingg the dirty without decent factual information.

Hope this helps.

Regards, Dr Phil...
 
i'm still waiting for my psychologist.... anyone... ANYONE? HELLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DONT
MAKE
ME
START
A
NEW
THREAD
YOU
RAGING
keftethes (kefta aka meatballs) :roflol:
 
XxFoVoSxX said:
i'm still waiting for my psychologist.... anyone... ANYONE? HELLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DONT
MAKE
ME
START
A
NEW
THREAD
YOU
RAGING
keftethes (kefta aka meatballs) :roflol:
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you might regret asking for one when they end up sending you to a nuthouse.... PUDDING!!!
 
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